As I sit here in my car in the hot Texas summer, I have a sense of peace in my heart. I look out the car window and am amazed at the beautiful green trees that stand resilient against the beating heat. If you look hard enough you can see a pure white aura glowing from their steady statures. Around is a dazzling blue cornflower blue sky with white puffy clouds that make me want to dive into their marshmallow-ness. Even the soft breeze that blows through my window and dance across my skin takes strands of my hair off on a miniature dance.
I wrote the below article a while back and it was never intended to be published. I wrote it for myself and my own growth process and to acknowledge where I was on my journey. However, today my spirit is telling me that it needs to be seen. I need to allow myself to be seen. Whenever a beautiful soul comes in for a coaching session or a tantra session they are opening themselves up and becoming truly naked and exposed and so I am offering you a bit of me “naked”. Thankfully I have grown and changed since writing this but the below is an old fragment of my journey and meanderings on the power of sex. To read the original article that this is based on please go to: http://mytinysecrets.com/the-under-fked-pussy-epidemic-every-women-need-to-read-this/
Recently I was digging through some of my old college papers and came across a project I had completed for Psychology of Sexuality course years prior. I literally started rolling around on the floor laughing as I looked through this particular project because of the absurdity of some of the statements I made regarding sex, desire, and topics such as cybersex, pornography, and BDSM. In the paper, I talked about how I did not believe that I needed or wanted sex. I explained that I felt like sex was a great thing to do if you wanted to have kids or find a quick method to relieve stress. I claimed I thought that a man calling a woman a whore, slut, or bitch during sex was demoralizing and never appropriate and that it was not something I could ever consider a turn-on in my life. And years later I have to laugh when I think that all of the above are things that I thoroughly enjoy in my life. Sexting can be fun and playful. Porn can add a lot of spice to a boring night. And sometimes it’s nice to have my lovers get a little rougher during sex in the midst of a safe and trusting relationship.
My pussy speaks to me. It has a voice. At times in my life this voice has been almost inaudible while at other times it has been loud and robust. Years ago I worked very hard to silence this part of me that was connected on a soul level. The connection felt too much, too intense, and too open. Through my awakening to different sexuality practices I have reconnected with that primal area. However, despite any attempts to ever silence my pussy it continues to speak to me whether I am listening or not, and when I am not listening my pussy finds a way to make me pay attention! During these times of disconnection I feel lost and uncertain about my life and overall ungrounded-ness when not connected to my source energy. When I am connected I feel alive, I know where I am headed in life, I have energy, and every nuance of life is deeply felt and blissful.