by Kendal Williams (featured on Consumer Health Digest)
“There I stand looking in the mirror as I brush my teeth. I am noticing how frumpy I look and exhausted I feel at this hour but, even more so I find myself frustrated and overwhelmed with the thoughts of everything that I had needed to get taken care of and never found the time for that will now move to my things to do list tomorrow. My husband walks in the bathroom behind me saying something that I cannot really hear over the brushing and swishing of my oral care. I spit in the sink and ask him what he said. He rattles something back about the day and shutting down the house for bed. I pick up a washcloth and bend over to wash my face, my husband comes up behind me, grabs hold of my hips and squeezes, then slaps my bottom and gives me a look.
I can tell that he wants sex. Lord, I don’t! My body is tired and my mind is wandering and stressed about the day to come. I feel no turn on in this moment but look at my husband as he pulls his underwear off and gets into bed. Suddenly I feel like I need to do this one last chore of the day and “take care of his needs.” I figure that if I go along with it, even act like I am into it or want it that he will come a little quicker and I can be asleep in the next 15 minutes or so. Continue reading…
After reading this article I felt the need to share with my readers. The whole article is on point in regards to what many women experience but the point that really stuck out to me was the element of “duty sex”. The author is correct that almost all women will have duty sex sometime in their lives and most have it frequently. We as women often feel an obligation to please others and this includes out partners even if we are not in the mood. I know I personally have had duty sex in my life and I don’t know a women that has not faked an orgasm to just be done with it or to make her man feel better. These usually are those moments that put distance and resentment into a relationship because deep down the women is going against her authentic self. It takes courage in owning your truth to turn you man down for sex and it takes a man really holding onto his Ego when turned down for sex. Though if he really loves her then he will understand and in turn if she loves him she won’t be pretending in such an intimate and connective act.
Another element that is important that the article brings to light is being present during sex. If we are not present in sex we are stealing pleasure not only from ourselves but from our partner. The most amazing sex happens when both partners are in the moment and wanting to be having sex. I could write a novel just on the topic written about in the article but believe the author says it best so please take a few minutes to read!