We all go through times in our lives that are harder than others. A few months ago, I was seeing several men, and I was enjoying the heck out of each one of them. Each man was unique in his personality and looks, the way he approached life, and the way he approached me. Each was special in his own way. But things got pretty crazy in my life for a few months, and honestly, I lost the peppy and flirtatious me and was authentic with them about the fact that I was hurting. I wasn’t interested in sex, was pretty negative in my thinking, and had a lot of stress riding on my shoulders.
It’s funny how, as I sat in my own pain, I watched as one-by-one, several of these guys fell away. I quickly knew exactly where they stood, what they really wanted from me, and how much they actually cared.
With several of these guys, I was the one who broke it off because I honestly knew it was unfair to keep stringing them along through my pain when at the end of the day, I was ambivalent towards them.
One guy had his own troubles; I saw his pain, and our relationship also fell away without any hard feelings because he was one of those people who the universe sends to shake things up, show you that you can have more, and then they must leave. But this breakup definitely came at a time when I could have used his stable nature.
There was also this one guy that I barely got to see due to crazy schedules on both our parts, but he was like the ray of sunshine when he was around. The stability in him was amazing. He was no knight and shining armor, but he was better in his realness, stability, and ability to hold space even when we were not around each other.
So this is an ode to all guys who are the “stable man.” We, as women, often complain about men and their faults, but we also need to acknowledge the strong, stable men who can surf the waves of our turbulence. Men get a bad rep in our society for only wanting “one thing,” but the truth is that there are so many beautiful men in the world, and maybe you are one of them who want ALL of their women. They don’t want the sugar-coated, shallow conversations, or a woman who is plastic in her appearance and demeanor. There are beautiful stable men out there who are trying to grow themselves and connect in an honest and authentic fashion.
These men are the ones who send us the “Good morning, beautiful” texts or have the phone conversation where they remind us that they’ve “got us” during a hard time. The men who take their time to worship our bodies and walk with us to new depths of our sex, or the men who stand there as we rave, cry, and scream, feeling the storm but not jumping into our “crazy moment” or running away—these are the stable men.
No, they aren’t perfect, and yes, they make mistakes because they are human at the end of the day. But they have the ego strength to work through it. They have the strength to apologize, acknowledge their emotion without drowning in it, and most of all, laugh at themselves. And they make us laugh too!
They are playful. They are adventurous. They are the men who can also lay on the bed snuggling with us, not pushing it into anything but a connective moment and be totally present in the moment. They are the beautiful men who we don’t have to worry about what they are thinking, hiding, or not saying. They are also the men who are NOT clingy and have their own lives, interests, and friends and are not constantly needing their women.
They are the men who, although they never pressure us into sex, are ready and willing to totally “take us” at the right moment. They penetrate our hearts as well as our bodies. They are the men who, even if they leave our lives, will always hold a special place in our hearts because they gave us a precious and priceless gift.
They are out there, but in our culture, they are getting to be fewer and fewer. Raise these men. Be these men. Support these men. So many of these beautiful masculine souls out there are not getting the round of applause that they deserve. So thank you! Thank you for being you and for being a man who is trustworthy, is present, and has depth. Thank you for the stability you provide me and the other woman of the world so we can continue to explore our femininity.
No lesson. No coaching.
Just thank YOU!