War of Wounding

I begin to become aware of the soft bed and pillow beneath my head. My eyes crack open only the smallest amount as I try to grip the strange dreams that are quickly slipping like sands from my memory. My mind begins to process. Morning. Sunday. Last night was event. Still sleepy…no not sleepy, drained. I say my morning gratitude prayer. Then as I begin to pull out of bed and process the energy that still is looming in my body from an intense previous day my Ego quickly begins to join the party. By the time I have coffee and my journal, I realize that the healing energy from yesterday has pulled up old wounds. I begin my journaling, and I see the words that are flowing out of me that speak of isolation, feeling left out, not wanted, tolerated, and speak directly to my worthiness. β€œWhoa, whoa”, I think to myself, β€œI have been super included, I have no reason to feel unwanted after everything yesterday and being simply tolerated is just utter bullshit”. I am at utter war with my mind and my emotions. God versus the Enemy. My adult self versus my childhood wounding. My energy versus absorbed energy from others. The war rages! Read more