The cool against my skin
The feeling of goosebumps blossoming out from my core
The heat of my hands as they vibrate
The opening in my chest…
I feel like Orgasm Goldilocks!
I lay there as this first gentleman begins to stroke my body
I give soft but meaningful direction
I need the strokes soft and long and then a little shorter and quicker.
I share my own sensation but he isn’t listening to direction and so when I say left he makes no move to change things up. I say right and he continues to do exactly what he was doing.
I agree for him to enter me but the lack of direction has now got me into my own brain and nothing seems to be working. I logically know he is there but yet my body barricades against this touch because he isn’t listening and my body can’t relax knowing I can’t trust. I can’t surrender to the orgasm. He isn’t “bad” but I’m left unfed by the encounter.
I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as the intense amounts of energy is releasing in my body. I feel my entire being trembling from the tips of my toe to the hairs on my head… and everywhere in between. I feel the emotions from the energy release rising in my chest and begging for me to surrender into.
👑Who Made You King of Anything? 👑
You sit there telling me about me.
Yet, you don’t even truly know me.
You judge me based upon the little pieces that I have allowed you to see of me. You think you know all about me but you know nothing.
You have this distorted fantasy of who I am, where my hang-ups are, and who I need to be
Who made you King of Anything??
Who made your word more powerful than my own? Your desires more worthy? Read more
💝You Love The Idea of Me! 💝
I get told all the time by people that they love me.
And I love to be loved but the truth is that most of them don’t really love me…
They don’t love me because they don’t really know me
They love the idea of me that they have created in their head
It is a figment of their imagination and has nothing to do with me.
I’ve told by clients consistently that they love me but they don’t have to sit with me in my dark and scary moments. My moments of drowning in my ego where it’s hard to get a breath. When they see these things they turn away. These times where I am lazy, unsexy, emotional, and angry. They love the idea of me…
Play Is Messing Up My Life 😝
Yep, it is the culprit for all my struggles right now.
I was not raised to play! I was raised to sit still, look pretty, and act like a porcelain doll.
People look at me with disbelief when I say I did not play as a child.
They don’t believe me. All children play!
But it’s the truth. Read more
It’s early evening when I receive the text, and I am relaxing outside and trying to get some work done. I see the name, and I am immediately intrigued because it is rare these days that I see this name on my phone screen. He wants to come over for a little while, and I know that he has plans beyond just chatting. I sit, staring at my phone for a few minutes, pondering my options. On the one hand, I know that I really need and desire some focused attention. On the other hand, I have some major emotional blocks with him right now and am still holding a traumatic event in my body. I have the choice to lean into the vulnerable here or to shut down and completely shut him out. I finally decide to step into vulnerability and see if I can allow my own opening with his help. Read more
😫I need it. I can’t move forward without it. I’m stuck! 😫
These are the things that I state as I tear through the boxes in my home looking for a little pink book. This particular book holds business focused journaling, plans, and writings that were in the works of being created. But in the chaos of moving I can’t seem to find it.
I look high, I look low, I even look in the kids toy bins but this little pink book can’t be found. I seriously spend about an hour tearing through stuff. Read more
💥Begin Anywhere! 💥
Have you ever had those moments when there seems so very much to do and you don’t even know where to begin?
Where it all seems too much?
Those moments in our lives when we look at the mountain before us and we wonder if it would be easier to just give up and throw in the towel! 😱 Read more