You claim to love someone
You share with them that they matter and swear to be able to love them through their pain and sadness and be rejoicing with them in times of triumph.
But can you really keep that promise?
Do you REALLY want all of them?
For most, the truest answer would be NO!
No, I don’t actually want all of my partner or loved one
Why do I say this?
Because it is a very rare person that can hold someone in their anger… and especially their anger at them!
If you don’t want to sit there and hold space while your loved one works through their anger then you don’t truly want all of them.
You might want the glorious times of triumph and joy
You might be okay in the times of sadness and struggle
But are you okay holding their anger?
When we witness someone’s anger their are a few things we try to do that are NOT holding space for the energy to flow through…
We try to convince the feeling away. We tell them that they are wrong to feel it and/or try to force them out of it. Asking them to use their “logical mind” or pointing to rationale.
We run from it and change the subject or we retract our love and energy until that person is no longer anger.
We tell them to just focus on the positives. Redirect. Ignore this emotion. etc.
Thus we shame our anger and we create an unsafe space for a person to fully move through their emotions. An unsafe place for that other person to fully be them.
But yet we claim to love them, desire to support them, and want all of them. Even to desire them to grow without them being able to experience their anger is ridiculous.
These concepts simply do not go together!
If we love someone and want to truly support them then we would support them in all their energies.
If we want someone to feel safe with us then we must create space for them to feel safe in their anger… around us and with us.
It is hard to hear another’s anger with us and not jump into our defenses and ego. It takes real love and compassion to hold space in this time and allow someone to clear without fighting or fleeing.
Even if that fighting or fleeing is simply within your mind, I promise the other person will feel the retraction and the energy shift.
It’s a presence and a learning to pause. It’s a checking of self to stay in a loving space and let someone be heard.
And it’s doing your own anger work!
If you haven’t looked at your own anger and realized your holdbacks and belief systems, then it’s going to be difficult for you to hold that loving space for another.
You might have a desire in you life to love someone and create space for them to be all of them but until you have learned to witness and be with their anger… You won’t truly love them. You won’t truly be able to see all of them.
When we truly open up this space for another it is amazing the trust that can be created. The love that comes from that space. The bonding that can happen.
But first we must realize and recognize that we aren’t truly holding that space. Simply become conscious of it.
Then look at our own lives and realize where we potentially are not holding space and loving on our own anger. Allowing the flow of our own anger. Retracting… Disconnecting.
Hold that space for self… and holding others anger becomes much easier!
Though… if you aren’t willing or able to hold your loved ones anger then don’t say you love all of them.
Because it isn’t true!
Love, Light, & Blessings,
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ANNOUNCING: Fast Track Coaching Sessions In order to help people rise from this in a more aligned place and with goals already set and in motion. I am offering a coaching deal that will never come back around! These are short 30min video/phone coaching sessions focused on the topic of most interest….