I’m engaged in a course from a mentor and doing my required journaling. I begin the journal section about relationships. A hard one since right now in all honesty I’m feeling challenged in this area. Yes, the relationship coach is feeling relationship challenged 😜
I am seeing relationships that were meant to be long dead get slaughtered. I am seeing relationships change. I am seeing some relationships that I have given my heart and soul too in a complete state of limbo and feel uncertain how to proceed.
So when I am told to journal on relationships I can feel my heart clench, my eyes water, and a shutting down process.
The question that is presented is “What is holding you back” and out my pen flows…loads of ego ridden statements but they all come down to one thing. And it’s the same thing I see in my clients and the people I love around me….
We don’t jump all in and avoid deepening relationships to their greatest depth because we want to avoid pain. Relationships require to surrender pieces of ourselves to another without any control over what the other person does with them.
This does not me we give ourselves away but that we let other into our light but also our shadow. Hoping and praying that they don’t trample all over us in the process.
We have all been burned in relationship. Relationships are this weird sense of two people bouncing off of each other… sometimes in beauty, connection, and bliss and other times in fear, triggering past wounding, and ego. Even those we love so deep in our hearts… we still will crash at times.
So we avoid in different ways. We block. We guard. We either chase in fear or wall ourselves up in fear. Oftentimes in doing this we make things WORSE!! We end up perceiving and assuming things about the other person. The best of intentions gets skewed. The communications get muddied. We must come back to our hearts.
We try to avoid the pain but to be in relationship, any relationship, there will be pain.
So why do it?
Just like my journaling this morning shows… we try to avoid but in truth there is no way to live without relationship. Even if you choose to live alone on a mountain all yb yourself your whole life you still will be in relationship… with yourself, with nature, with God!
Relationships are unavoidable. And they can be beautiful and give such color to our lives. They make life worth living.
As I sit here, honestly terrified, because of the state of some of my relationships…. I still have ultimate gratitude even through the pain that clouds of chest. I’ve had relationships in my life that have brought some truly beautiful and blissful colors into my life. And my heart honors those memories and the beautiful energies that were created. My heart honors the feelings both light and dark that these relationships have and hopefully continue to uncover.
We can’t avoid the pain in relationship but we can do our best to love ourselves and the other people through whatever may come.
Light, Love, and Blessings to you All