We are walking back to the car after some intimate conversation and an evening of laughter. I can feel the gentle breeze blowing my dress and I am soaking in the moment.

The air feels magical.
The full moon is lighting our way.
And he slowly slips his hand into mine.

My heart begins to patter a little faster.
My skin becomes electrified.
My genitals suddenly burst into a fiery sensation.

And I am startled by the butterflies and giggles that are arising in my belly.

Having a moment, just holding this beautiful man’s hand, feeling like I am a 16 instead of a 34yr old woman.

The simplest move and moment.
Taking things slow.
Easing into this energy.
But allowing the giddiness of the feminine to over take…

It’s simply a hand.
It’s simply a kiss.
It’s simply an energy.

But it is beautiful and electric if tuned in.

Often as adults in our sex and connections we brush these moments aside. Wanting to rush to the “good stuff” when this right here is the good stuff. It is the stuff that makes or breaks what comes later.

Do you remember when you were a kid how electric that first kiss felt? Do you remember how romantic it was to just hold hands? Do you remember what it was to laugh at the little mishaps and moments?

Allowing yourself to fantasize about her lips or find a quick make-out session super erotic.

As we age many leave the butterflies behind. We leave the giddiness and giggles behind.

Sex becomes serious.

Many lose the adventure of simply exploring each others bodies for the sole purpose of exploration and discovery. Trying to instead push to make something “more” happen instead of being attuned to what is happening.

Allowing the body to lead instead of the brain.

Allowing the passion to lead.
Allowing your animal nature to take over.

And then having compassion and humor for those times that it goes wrong!!!

Because without trying new things…
Truly exploring and experiencing…
Your sex becomes boring.
You lose the teenage playfulness that can be ever present in a healthy relationship.

But first it requires us to slow down enough to stop reaching for more, more, more…

Instead to lean into the erotic nature of having our hands held.
The sensual nature of a shoe being removed
The deep connection of a shoulder rub.

Because this is truly where the sex starts.
It starts with the playfulness and the little moments of connection.

There are moments in sex that ARE serious
Is everyone safe
Is everything consensual

But in a safe and consensual environment…

Sex is not “serious”

Sex is playful, pleasurable, connective, energetic…

And yes

Sex is often funny!

But when you aren’t attuning to the small moments and even that aroused “teenage self” within you.

Then sex and sexual connections lose there magnetism.

You start to box your sex in and disconnect from the full power that it can posses and the ever present nature of our turn on.

Simply holding a hand and receiving a few moments of a back massage was more arousing than previous experiences where I’ve had other men going down on me…


One was filled with disconnection and a drive towards a finish line. Where they weren’t energetically present and there was no playful explorative energies passion through. A was simply goal-oriented

The other…

Was filled with a playful and teenage-like enthusiasm. The energy that was being exchanged was connective and so extremely present. And was going with the flow and ebbing the energies up.

Sex is meant to be fun!
It is meant to leave us with butterflies and moments of surrendered bliss.

But it starts with tuning into the arousal in these small moments and also not taking ourselves so seriously in the bedroom.

To give ourselves the chance to make-out like when we were teenagers. To allow ourselves to sometimes get it wrong and also to allow our partners to get it wrong with the knowledge that it is a fun and playful journey together.

And most importantly to allow the butterflies to be birthed in the little touches, looks, and moments.

Because those moments…

Are really what makes the sex that comes later
Whether passionate and animalistic
Soft and sensual

Truly amazing.
It’s what primes our systems for true orgasm!

Recover the butterflies

~Recover Your Life~

Love, Light & Blessings,