I was 17yr and was prepping my dance solo for competition. This was the first time I had really undertaken a truly sensual song in my dancing and first time had to convey a deeper sensualness that I had not yet experienced.
At this point, sex was not a thing in my reality and I was incredibly disconnected from my body. I have a distinct memory of my teacher at the time screaming at me from across the room, “just friggin touch yourself already!!! Goodness gracious…it’s not that hard”
I had danced my whole life and touching self had never been an issue previously in dances but there was a different energy in this… a highly sexual, wanton and desiring energy that was unable to be faked. It was a simple move of sweeping my hand from tip of my left hand, up my arm, and across my breasts. If anyone else had looked at the move it would not have phased them.
But this simple move had me awash in shame!
I eventually moved through with much yelling from my instructor but it was one of those moments of extreme sexual shame that I will never forget. It is forever etched in my mind.
I was so ashamed of even making contact with my own breasts!
I wanted to be seen as a sexual being but at the same time was scared to death to claim it.
One might laugh and brush it off to a young girl that was still emerging into her sexuality and who wasn’t comfortable with the world seeing she had all these emerging wants and desires.
Though unfortunately I see men and women every single day, grown adults…
Adults that have been sexually active for decades, that are stuck in massive ways because of shame!
Especially when we are talking about sexual shame.
Sexual shame isn’t something external from ourselves and kept to one area of our lives… it permeates everything we do. When you are uncomfortable and shameful about your sex then you are uncomfortable and shameful about SELF.
Sexuality is one of the cornerstones of who we are as humans. This energy can grow us or can hinder us. Our sexual energy not only feeds the act of sex but also our passion and desire in all areas of our lives. It connects us to our bodies and guides us.
So when we are in a state of shame with a piece of self that connects us with a desire to live, expand, and experience the pleasures of this life… we can never live our best lives. Sexual shame keeps us from never fully knowing and experiencing ourselves. As well as ever truly knowing someone else. Never being authentically us!
But we have a choice to move through this shame or to continue to let it control us. It takes a decision to step into the vulnerable and difficult sensations, along with a decision to lean into core and decide YOUR beliefs and feelings around sex.
Not what your family thinks
Not what your religion tells you to believe
Not what your friends tell you to believe
Not what your television or social media tell you to belive
But instead what YOU and your SOUL believe
Does such an essential part of who you are feel beautiful and expansive?
Or is it something to hide and shame?
It takes YOU deciding to look deeper at your core. Sexual shame is something we deal with daily from society and so it is a constant checking in with self and re-connecting and clearing.
Sometimes we need a coach or other helping professional to assist us through…
But in the end it is our work to do.
It is our exploring
It is out claiming or reclaiming to do.
In my current belief (it wasn’t always this way)
Sex and our sexuality is meant to be a gift of pure pleasure and a way to not just connect with others but moreso to connect with self at a profound level!
Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison
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Expansive Tantric Coaching Program:
▪ Reconnecting with Your Body
▪ Release stored Trauma & Emotions
▪ Focus on Yourself
▪ Expand your Orgasmic Potential
▪ Experience Sacred Space
▪ No Judgment And its Vegas!
There are many benefits of Tantra, and I have seen it truly change people’s lives and relationships.
Inquire with Addison for more information regarding sessions.
