I’m doing this for me!
I’m doing this because it is what I need whether you are behind it or not.
I’m doing this because this is how I’m going to grow and expand.
I’m doing this to get back to being me.

And pieces you can be a part of if you so choose and can hold my hand and we can walk together.
And parts of this are none of your business.
And I don’t want you with me. Moments that I need to experience with myself or another soul.

And I’m doing this whether you like it or not.
Whether it stirs your pot and makes you grow or whether it leads to you shutting down.
Because at the end of the day we must follow where our souls are pulling us and this is where I have to go.

I’m doing this for me…
And that doesn’t “mean” anything about YOU.
It doesn’t nor will equate to your enough-ness
It doesn’t take away from the connection between us
It actually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.
That is, unless you choose to add that to your pile of ego shit… and then that’s about you!

This is a common situation in relationships and particularly in relationships where one or both parties are on a soul mission to expand and grow.

One party will desire to go do/experience something that they are feeling called towards…

A new adventure…
A new healing modality…
A new relationship connection…
A new sexual experience…
Or just space.

While the other party is left facing their own beliefs and insecurities. Or they aren’t because they are left in the dark because they have proven that they are unable to hold the space of their partner owning their desires.

Leaving the growing party with two options…
Lie and sneak the growth or create massive upheaval

Neither is ideal.

And yet in relationships we have learned that if our partners have a need that we should be able to fill it and that “if they loved us” that they would desire to share all our experiences.

So when our partners come to us and say that they need to do something for themselves…. for their growth… for their core…
then that means that we are broken in some way.

When the reality is that we can not be everything to everybody. New energies are needed in order to keep us growing and some things need to be walked alone.

Just because someone needs something else does not mean that there is anything wrong with YOU. It does not equate to lack of love or value.

The hard thing is that sometimes what we need to do for US can stretch the bounds of where both parties are at in a relationship.

It can stir things up… for better or for worse depending on how the parties choose to navigate it.

But despite any relationship… we are here to follow our path and so to ask someone to shrink or not shine their light as brightly is asking them to not be them. It is asking them to give their life (whether a piece or the whole) to you.

Asking a partner to not do what they are being truly called to do for self is self-centered. Determining what a partner can or can’t do to connect deeper with self is one party trying to handcuff another human soul.

Conversations might need to be had…
Slowing things down a little might be helpful…
Extra connection space might be needed…

But we are here to experience and expand.
Not to handcuff another to who we want them to be… to stunt their growth forever. That’s not love.
That’s slavery.

~Recover Your Life~


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