Don’t fuggedaboudit… Learn to get vulnerable and talk about it!
Growing up with an Italian mother in New York. I learned to talk with my hands and a common thing I would hear from those around me was fuggedaboutit.
Lol, otherwise known as “forget about it”!
Though the problem that I saw with this statement then… and still…
Is that in a relationship it is more often that instead of “forgetting about it” and truly letting something go…
We hold on…
We grow resentful…
We stuff our emotions…
We lie, pretend…
OR
We end up acting out in other ways.
We’ve come to a place in our society now where facebook friending and defriending is a signal of if we upset. We avoid messages just to prove a point. We talk behind people’s backs but smile to their faces, hitting “like” on their posts while being hateful behinds the scenes.
And even in romantic relationships, we use sex as a leveraging agent for if we are upset. Having an affair with our vibrators because we are angry with our partner.
When instead we need to be communicating!!!!
Now, before I get into this I do believe that there is such a thing as oversharing and being overly sensitive! Your partner, friend, colleague, etc., do not need to know every time you have an emotion. That is called breathing into your ego and emotions.
There is a totally acceptable land of …
Just get the f*ck over it!!!
I know that sounds really harsh but we have also become a society that gets their panties in a wad over the smallest things!
Some things we do need to learn to just fuggedaboudit!
But what I’ve actually been seeing a lot of with both my clients and those in my life is the lack of verbalizing.
Yes, a complete and utter willingness to verbalize what is really and truly going on and where they are feeling hurt, betrayed, ignored, or feel someone has done them wrong.
Instead, I ask you if YOU are guilty of
* Hiding things so others won’t know and hoping it won’t cause a fight if they find out.
* Skirting topics to avoid having the tough but needed conversations.
* Just plain holding and holding until you explode
* Trying to manipulate to hurt, harm, avoid, or plain get what you want
* Or being passive-aggressive
This last one is a favorite of SO MANY these days. Pretending everything is fine while holding onto anger and pain. While going around in the background and finding little moments to cause harm.
It’s never fully effective and ends up lowering your vibration down and separates you from your true soul nature.
Which, when you don’t verbalize you end up creating more disconnect and confusion in the relationship and situation. Things end up becoming messier and in truth, you do more damage to the relationship, to that other person, but also mainly to yourself.
I think most healthy adults know and would say that communication is the most important thing in building any type of relationship.
(Lovers, Partners, Children, Friends, Etc)
Though astoundingly…
Most people S*CK at communication.
It is the MAIN thing I work on in my couples work.
Not truly engaging in active listening
Not willing to be vulnerable and potentially uncomfortable
Not willing to set boundaries
Not willing to put down the blame
As adults, we preached to children when they are little to “use their words” all the time but yet we turn around and ACT OUT our upset.
Willing to ruin our relationships just to protect our egos and get back at someone. Instead of talking with them. Hearing and I mean truly HEARING their perspective.
When some clear communication and discussion could potentially save a relationship
But more than that it could just make you a healthier person. A more authentic person. A person that isn’t continually clogging their energy with a lack of communicating the things that truly matter.
Somethings… yes, fuggedaboudit!
That is if you truly can let it go.
But on the stuff that is important to you.
That needs discussing. That is holding you back from being open and honest and holding you in negative energy. That stuff that your soul screams to be shared.
That stuff don’t just… fuggedaboudit
Put your big boy/girl panties on and start communicating about it!!!
Blessings,
AB
………………………….
Did you know that communication is one of the key elements to AMAZING and HAWT sexing?
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