What is Sex Coaching?
Sex coaching is a niche industry that is just starting to make head way. Coaching IS NOT therapy.
- It focuses on helping an individual or couple to reignite intimacy, desire and love.
- It helps people to build confidence in their sexual behavior, remove body shame and insecurities around sex and relating.
- Helps to heal insecurities around sexuality.
- Focuses on teaching the core of love and self acceptance.
- Shares education about sex, health, relating.
- Helps to release and/or shift programs/beliefs that are holding you back.
- My coaching also focuses on the creative power of sex and how it affects all areas of our lives. My coaching pulls in joy, abundance, purpose, desire and health focuses as well.
What does a sex coach do in session(s) with clients?
I cannot speak for other sex coaches.
Coaches are NOT surrogates.
In my coaching sessions, we will be in office mostly. Sessions last 30-90 minutes. They are ‘talk ’ and energy based but I also share/teach exercises to individuals and couples to help them become stronger in their cores, know how to breathe for optimal pleasure and relaxation, do exercises vocal/mirror/art therapy/conscious touch to help them overcome shame and see the divine within.
I do soul gazing with almost everyone at some point.
I also offer for female clients, structural pelvic floor sessions which are a softer form of traditional pelvic release work to help women who are suffering from various sexual dysfunctions.
All my sessions end with a permission based hug.
Do you touch my body?
The short answer is NO. However that is not 100% accurate. There are times when I may ask for permission to touch you. These times often are to give a hug when needed or place a hand on your chest during the soul gazing exercises. Sometimes I will ask permission to touch your shoulder or leg or help you in alignment with an exercise that we are learning.
If, I am working with a couple and walking them through Orgasmic Meditation (OM) then I may ask permission to show hand placement or permission to help realign the stroker or strokee. In the same, if I am doing an in-home intimacy session and teaching tantric massage then I may ask permission to show how to do something. In both cases I gain permission from both parties and ONLY touch to teach then move back into vocalization mode. Most of my couple’s sessions of this nature are 95% vocal coaching and 5% hands-on.
If I am working with a woman in a pelvic release session or reiki/energy session, then there are waivers signed and all work is done by permission base only, as release work is a type of acupressure blended with reiki. It is a non-sexual practice focused on releasing trauma from the body and tension from muscles and joints.
I do not interact sexually with any of my clients!!!
Why would I need coaching for my sex and relationship’s?
Just like any coaching, whether it is to gain a better tennis game, stay on track with your diet or exercise, or build the business of your dreams or get the job that you want, COACHES have a significant value in your success.
The most successful people in the world understand this and have multiple coaches helping them on their journey for different areas. They spend thousands of dollars if not ten’s of thousands or more on coaches. The most unsuccessful people say, “I can’t afford that.” And over 60% of the population never thinks about and just accepts what life has to offer.
Sex is a big area of our lives that has much taboo wrapped around it as well as shame, guilt, misunderstanding and fear. We are expected to ‘just get it,’ because after all sex is natural. The issue is it may be natural but that does not guarantee a healthy, good or great even satisfying sex life. The same is true in relating and intimacy. We get into relationships because we ‘need’ something that is not being fulfilled in our lives and often we end up in the wrong relationship. On top of that right or wrong relationship, we enter the relationship with a bunch of baggage, hangups, trauma and an inability to accept ourselves or each other let alone communicate effectively. We convince ourselves that we are in love when we are in need and thus we have our modern relationship.
If you are in a relationship or even if your not but can say without a doubt that you are 100% secure in yourself, have worked through ALL your childhood programs, have healed your traumas and self-sabotaging programs. If you can say that you accept and love yourself fully and can do the same for another. If you can say that you are truly happy and can embody your emotions without shame and DO NOT need another person to complete you but want to enjoy another to elevate yourself and them, THEN you don’t need a sex & relationship coach. If this is not the case, then you do!
Do you need to be licensed to be a coach?
No. There are no requirements at this time to become a coach for any niche.
Most coaches though have multiple training’s and certifications. Some are licensed psychologists or therapist’s, doctors even. Some have backgrounds as pastors or counselors.
Personally, I hold a Master’s in Counseling, am Certified as a Couple’s Relationship Facilitator, Certified Happiness and Laughter Coach, Reiki Master, Trained Tantra Practitioner/coach, Law of Attraction Coach, Psychodrama trained, Ordained Minister, NLP Trained, Certified Wellness Coach.
I have done multiple focused training’s in:
- Healing Shame and Guilt
- Body-Image Training
- Vulnerability Training
- Boundaries Training
- Sexual Health and Practices
- Human Sexuality
- & Many more!
And I am always working on gaining new knowledge!
What makes a good sex coach?
Much like sex therapists, sex coaches tend to have much greater than average knowledge about the physiological processes that are a part of human sexuality as well as how to awaken the answers within a person so that they can learn their truth and move through roadblocks and into their desired life.
A good sex coach will be non-judgemental, open minded, be able to share openly about their experiences and most importantly will have done most of their own work around sex and relationship and will continually be doing the work that comes up around this area and others so that they can best serve you. Sex coaching is an area where the coach HAS to be comfortable in their sexuality to best help their clients do the same for themselves.
It is important to realize that no matter what certifications a coach holds, how much education or experience they have that no coach has a perfect track record of success. A coach can only help you as much as you are willing to let them. A coach is a guide to your inner knowing. It is still up to you to shine the light.