You look outwards darling…
When the problem is within yourself.
You have disowned this aspect of self because it is something you don’t want to see…
You throw this blame and paint others the way that fits your narrative. You find others to support and misconstrue
You even go as far as to create situations that validate these viewpoints so that you can stay safe and cozy in your misconceptions.
In the psychology world we call it PROJECTION.
The process of taking an issue that is within your own shadow and placing it on someone else. It is a deep disowning within self and yet it emotionally feels good because it eases the pain of having to look within.
It’s way easier than having to face self.
And it’s incredibly rampant in relationships and creates mass destruction of the positive aspects of a connection.
It hurts the other party by painting them in a false role and often times can block any form of authentic and heartfelt conversation.
At the same time it hurts the individual because that projection feels incredibly REAL in the moment.
Massive signs of this projection behavior is …
When someone is unwilling to slow down or listen to another viewpoint of a situation/person.
When you see the same characteristics in your relationships repeating
When you frequently are blaming another persons behaviors, thoughts, and feelings and have removed yourself from the equation.
When you are seeking validation about another’s behaviors or personality with others to make you feel justified.
And guess what…
Projection is at some level a normal human defense mechanism that the ego uses to protect our psyche.
It’s common that we have moments of projecting in our relationships.
We are feeling disconnected in the relationship and instead project those feelings on another
We are feeling negative and upset and we instead paint our partner as being in a bad mood
We have issues with communicating and instead look to the other person as not being able/willing to hear communications
Normal but not healthy if it remains present in a relationship.
So what do you do?
Stay present within. Any judgements outwards are judgements inwards
When having conflict stay with your own feelings and out of pointing fingers at others feelings.
Recognize when you are triggered!
And forgive yourself when you recognize you are in a space of projection…
Forgive but also do your healing work to keep the patterns from repeating over and over again in your life.
You are worthy of amazing relationships.
But the best relationships first start with a look inwards.
Grab the Fire Within
You are hungry for the orgasmic life and orgasmic relationships that you hear about.
At a soul level you know there is SO MUCH MORE available to you.
But you find yourself uncertain how to move forwards and claim your life.
Well my beautiful woman… I love to guide women like you!
It’s my passion.
Click to have a chat with me: