I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as the intense amounts of energy is releasing in my body. I feel my entire being trembling from the tips of my toe to the hairs on my head… and everywhere in between. I feel the emotions from the energy release rising in my chest and begging for me to surrender into.
I have a moment of fear. This is too much. You already asked for too much. You should be be VERY ASHAMED my mind screams. Already received too much. These feeling could tear you apart.
I work hard to remain in my energy and not disconnect because this is what my body and soul are craving. The tears begin to roll down my cheeks. I feel a hand placed onto my heart chakra and I totally lose it…. And I’m ugly crying.
I mean really ugly crying! Snotty, tear stained, mascara all over, and not feeling sexy in the least. Though this energy keeps pulsing in my veins to the point of discomfort and a feeling that I can’t truly hold it.
I gently get scooted over and I have arms wrapped around me. Oh, no, not cuddling! That’s deep, that’s emotional, that’s scary right now. I desire this deep down and yet I fight it at the same time but I WANT IT.
I feel weak and vulnerable here. This safety will make me feel too deep but I allow. I allow myself to just cry. I ugly cry in this space, in this safety, in this space I’m being gifted.
My ego tries to pipe in telling me…
I’m too much
I’m not worthy of this love
This is weird that I’m enjoying just being held
That this will only make me want more connection
I just lean into the peace that begins to enter my body. My tears slow to a gentle river down my face that isn’t from sadness but instead from a space of release and feeling loved. Of being held not just physically but also emotionally and energetically.
I soak this holding in for a few minutes before I am released. Space continues to be held and I process. I process through my energy. Through my feelings. Through my insecurities. I feel held!
In order to be held by others we have to allow and hold ourselves
Otherwise we shut down the connection
Being loved on is painful at times but it is a filling process
A beautiful filling process that turns from discomfort to bliss.
We are all worthy of love
We are all worthy of being held
We are all worthy of connection
We are all worthy of BLISS
Learn to step deeper into your Bliss!
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