I am sitting across from a perspective male client during a consultation. He begins to tell me about this Tantric bodywork session he received from another practitioner years prior. The session sounds like a truly beautiful experience for this man, and it makes me smile that another soul was able to see some of the benefits of Tantric bodywork. Though he explains that it was just one session and that it was merely bodywork without any of the other learnings regarding energy, breathwork, different types of orgasm, or living life in a Tantric manner. Internally, I get sad… yet another person only sees an apple in the whole “Tantric apple pie.” This man turns to me and asks if I can give him this type of powerful session and recreate this beautiful experience with straight bodywork. Basically, he is asking if I can PROMISE to rock his world. From my heart, I desire to say “yes of course” because I know tantra is powerful, but my head and spirit respond with a resounding “NO.”

This is not the first, nor I expect the last time I will have to answer this question, and it always is a hard answer. The reason I desire to answer this question with a yes is because if people are willing to put in the time, effort, and their spirits into the work, then I know they can reach new levels in their Tantric practices. The problem is that it is not only a practice, but also a way to live. It’s not a single session where I pull out some magic tricks in which I can guarantee some profound response.

I don’t like to use the word “work” because our immediate response is rejected based on our experience of the word, but I do believe Tantra requires expansion that is both totally natural and yet unnatural to our current societal manner of interacting. It’s not always fun and playful, and yet sometimes that’s exactly what it is! Sometimes, I can talk with prospective clients and explain that there are so many factors in sessions that I can’t guarantee, and the need to do other types of Tantra-based sessions. At times, clients are willing to give my methods a try, and other times, these individuals want a quick fix, no effort required, type of method. The truth is also that even if a person does everything they are ‘supposed to’ in terms of sessions and practices, I still can’t guarantee anything in session.

Let me tell you a little story… I was in a great mood as I headed to a personal Tantric session one day with another practitioner. Myself and this other practitioner had discussed what I thought I was needing, and due to certain things happening in my life, I wanted to try to focus specifically on my lower chakras and building up some sexual energy. While also knowing to go in that whatever needed to be focused on would emerge, and that I trusted spirit to provide what I needed. Well, let’s just say that by the end of the session, I was literally in the fetal position snapping at this other practitioner to ‘not fucking touch me.’ I was angry, my heart chakra was physically aching, and my cervix was spasming in a very non-gratifying way. There was no sexual element in this session because as soon as the session began, it became incredibly apparent that I was energetically blocked. Yes, there was some incredible work being done at that moment, but neither myself nor this other practitioner could have expected this to be the outcome… it’s simply what was needed and where my energy was at the moment.

In client sessions, I’ve had clients leave, feeling as if they had just left a different time/space continuum. I’ve had clients reach high levels of energetic orgasmic energy where they feel their crown chakras expand. Other clients have reported feelings of spiritual peace that they’ve ever experienced or very “weird” spiritual phenomenon. While other times, clients cry and release emotions stored. They yell and allow themselves to get angry. And still, there are times when clients leave, stating they didn’t feel anything different, no energy, no spiritual bliss, and no emotion. The funny thing is that some clients have had each of these experiences in different sessions. There is no magic ball I can look into to see if someone is going to have a specific kind of session. Generally, I can get a feel for someone’s overall energy, and where they are in their life and a feel for how the session could progress, but the session goes where the session goes, as I say.

The other thing that is important to remember is that a client is responsible for the openness, vulnerability, and energy during a session. If someone chooses to spend the entire session in their logical mind, then I am not going to be able to force them in finding a deeper level of their energy. If a client is energetically and emotionally blocked and not ready to release these blocks, then I am also not going to be able to push through those walls in session… nor do I want to because they aren’t ready. A Tantric session is a collaborative process, and so I am not doing anything to my clients, but instead, walking with them on their own energetic journeys, wherever those journeys might be.