I wrote the below article a while back and it was never intended to be published. I wrote it for myself and my own growth process and to acknowledge where I was on my journey. However, today my spirit is telling me that it needs to be seen. I need to allow myself to be seen. Whenever a beautiful soul comes in for a coaching session or a tantra session they are opening themselves up and becoming truly naked and exposed and so I am offering you a bit of me “naked”. Thankfully I have grown and changed since writing this but the below is an old fragment of my journey and meanderings on the power of sex. To read the original article that this is based on please go to: http://mytinysecrets.com/the-under-fked-pussy-epidemic-every-women-need-to-read-this/
Also to learn about the beautiful soul, Kendal Williams, that wrote the original article visit: http://www.tantrictransformation.com
Awhile bac I read an article called “The Underfucked Pussy Epidemic” by Kendal Williams. The article explains how having soul-connecting sexual experiences can help promote positive mental states and solve many physical and emotional problems women suffer with. Kendal discusses how most women these days walk around depressed, cranky, and irritable due to lack of “gourmet sex.” At the time I read the article, I found it interesting and could relate to many of the “symptoms” of an Underfucked Pussy, but I did not truly understand the significance of the article.
Throughout this year, I began seeing a sex coach in order to work on some trauma that I was carrying around in my body, heart, and mind. Up until this point in my life I had not had consensual sex even once in all my adult years on the planet and wanted to change that fact, but the truth is that I wanted to have sex so I could appease any guy I got into a relationship with in the future. I thought of sex as beneath me, that I had better and more important things to be focusing on in my life. Guys are the ones that are supposed to “need” sex.
Coaching helped me to get in touch with my sexuality and embrace all the amazing nuances of the connections between my sexuality, sensuality, and spirituality. As I got more comfortable and cleared some of the shame and trauma around my sexuality, my body started to defrost and I began feeling my pussy and heart connection. Within a few months, I was having sex and exploring a variety of sexual experiences.
The first time I had sex I was blessed enough to have a beautiful connected experience that left me wanting more of the same, but overall sex simply became “nice.” After years of being frozen, my brain was not ready to jump straight into gourmet sex, and I kept mental blocks up around my sexing. I went through a couple months where I was engaging in sexual experiences relatively frequently. I began the practice of orgasmic meditation, had a few lovers, was masturbating daily, and I could feel my energy level rise slowly. In a few of those moments I was able to physically feel my body vibrating. My creativity began exploding, my emotions began changing, and I found I wasn’t in need of as much of my medications. I woke up in the morning excited to see what the day was going to bring, and found a playfulness that my serious adult-self had lost. The creative energy took over and I began my own business, started writing blog articles, and felt like a sponge trying to absorb all that this world was offering in books, workshops, etc. I began feeling passion for the things I was doing daily. All of this on top of the yummy sexual interests I was exploring, like learning how to give an amazing blowjob, techniques to intensify my orgasm, tantric breathing techniques, and playing with some more taboo ideas in my head and fantasy. It was an amazing whirlwind of a few months.
However, those few months came to an end. It was not intentional. Holidays came, life got busy, I got a new job, I wasn’t in a relationship, and once again I thought I could live my life without sex. I did not forget everything I was taught and so I kept the orgasmic fires smoldering with masturbation, breathing, reading books on tantric practices, and the occasional sexy text message. However, one morning I woke up simply hating life. I found myself smack dab back living out of my masculine without the feminine quality that I had come to love. Laying there in bed and thinking that masturbating was like a “chore,” I thought… “Wow, I’m really under fucked! I need a guy to TAKE me, tease me, and then fuck not only my heart but my soul.” My second thought was, “Who the hell am I and what have I done with the person from a year ago?”
After a year of unfreezing my body, getting reconnected to my pussy, and tapping into my heart, I am realizing that I do indeed need sex, and not only need sex but WANT sex. The problem is that I don’t need any old sex – I needed deep, connected sex that can enliven my soul and have my body literally shaking at a different frequency due to the orgasmic energy surging through my body. I need heart-to-heart connection and to feel like my heart is being penetrated. If I simply want “fast food” sex, I know several guys that would have been happy to oblige but that’s not the kind of “fucking” I need. I need the kind of sex Kendal discusses in her article and I need A LOT of it.
That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy some quick passionate moments and I think these can be fun and fantastically intimate in their own way. However, as a woman I need that soul connection and also the hormones that get released in the female brain when you allow your body to go there with your partner. The difference is that prior to my “sexploration” I was oblivious and now I am aware of the pieces that I feel are missing when good sex isn’t present. For me, this has been a realization leading me to truly know what I am looking for in my sex life and also knowing that if occasional good sex can improve my life so much, then I am so ecstatic for when I am filled up and have a “Well Fucked Pussy.”
