I feel the energy pulsing and radiating…
I feel the constriction…
I feel a flow and a centeredness…
I feel a holding, resisting, and a pulling of the ego…
I breathe deep in attempts of relaxing in and allowing this energy movement. At one level I feel it flowing and radiating up my core and outwards but it is the itch you cannot scratch. It is there but below an invisible surface.
The desire to bask and flow in complete feminine energy and allow myself to be swept away is deeply present. To drop down and release the masculine shackles and the ego brain.To be caught up in the beautiful feminine dance that feels so delicious.
Yet my energy body resists the breaking open.
My ego screams…
Trust is the core here.
A restriction of trust in self and others.
An animal instinct to self protect that logically is not needed.
A lack of trust in a usually open and soft heart.
An instinct that keeps me from touching the beauty of this moment.
An ebb and flow of desiring and stepping into surrender and feeling divine energy…
BUT JUST BELOW THE SURFACE…
It makes its presence known but refuses to be truly be touched. Instead muscles scream and tighten as energy meets blockages. Blockages in mind and in body.
I stand witness…
Just breathing in and inching ever deeper. Towards regaining that trust in self. Towards regaining that openness. Towards that divine feminine flow and laughter that erupts from my toes and alights my eyes.
It’s here. I’m aware of it’s presence… just right below the surface!
And this timespan of a minutes or an hour or two of being held in my feminine… teases, stifles, and constricts.
But the energy calls to me… like a siren’s song to the lonely sailor. It whispers to:
Flow, dance, play… & LAUGH!
Release the barriers
Release the worry for the heart
Release the heart itself!
I continue to breath in! Allowing it to slowly be beckoned forward into it’s bloom.
Love, Light, & Blessings!