Girl meets boy
Girl and boy feel a connection.
Sparks begin to fly and their internal worlds are uplifted.
Vibration appears to be moving in a positive space.
Boy is enthralled by the girls energy and sees how her light shines bright for all the world to see.
Boy wants to play with the girls light but it is outside of his comfort zone but he convinces self her can handle it. Girl really likes boy and sees his potential.
They get to know each other at a deeper level beyond the initial new relationship energies.
They begin to discover where they are aligned and where they are different because all people have differences. They see the differences, the spaces in which they are not aligned but they push them aside.
They look to each other and think that they will just lean in. Make sacrifices for the relationship.
Girl begins to hide her light for boy
Boy begins to ask girl to shine a little less
Boy pushes past his core alignment for girl
Girl see’s him pushing outside of his core truth
But they keep quiet..
I mean all relationships require sacrifice.
Time goes by… weeks, months, years, or a lifetime together.
More sacrifices are made… more spaces where one or both are not living authentically from their core. They chip away little by little at their truth.
And girl and boy might live out the rest of their lives unaligned from self and thus unaligned in relationship
Never truly being true to themselves
Girl dying inside
Boy always uncomfortable with where he stands
Something snaps inside one of them and they begin to wake up to having sacrificed their core.
Creating chaos in the relationship… cheating, lying, depression, tears, and massive changes in the relationship.
Creating heartache and pain
And creating a false idea of love.
Because it’s a fine line between leaning in and holding yourself back in relationship.
And when we are not living true to our core then we are always hold self back.
In any relationship we find ourselves having to lean into things that might not be comfortable. We may pause a moment in order to let a partner catch-up in one area or we might breathe into some hard conversations.
In any relationship parties will have difficulties and one might need to lean in more than they usually would.
At the same time one party might hit their stride and the other might have to play catch-up or be forced to grow and lean in that way.
Relationships struggle the most when one party is expanding and the other is either staying stagnant or spiraling the other direction.
Though instead of each individual staying true to core… often they give themselves away. Instead of leaning in they hold themselves back. They stagnate in order to keep the relationship.
It’s a devious and dangerous behavior in relationship that we often play out again and again in relationship because the majority of people don’t take the time to truly connect to their core. They don’t check in and align with self and so don’t see where they consistently are trading pieces of themselves in order to not be alone or to stay comfortable.
It often starts out with little things and quickly snowballs to the point that you look at your life and wonder how it got to this point…when did you sell yourself to a devil of a relationship?
There are things that are okay to lean into… but in order to lean in one must first have steady roots which most are missing.
How do you avoiding giving yourself away in relationships?
It take you getting good with YOU.
Realizing that you can love someone and still realize they aren’t aligned.
You can be loved and in a beautiful (probably more authenitic) relationship and still stay true to yourself and what you desire in your life.
Though this take communication and effort. It takes having the hard conversations AFTER you’ve spent time connecting with yourself.
And that connection with self should be happening daily.
You should know where your non-negotiables are in a relationship and if you don’t have a good list of these then you aren’t leaning in… you are simply avoiding your core.
If you’re a NO to nothing then you can never truly be a YES to anything.
Taking time to listening to that soul calling and then making choices that feed that calling despite your relationship.
Leaning in but not entirely holding self back.
Maybe slowing down for a moment to allow for growth but continuing your growth and NEVER stopping completely for another.
If another wants to dim your light
Wants you to stop growing
Wants you to settle..
Then that’s not love.
And that’s not an aligned relationship.
🔥Grab the Fire Within 🔥
Get on Addison’s Waiting List for Coaching today and flame the fires of your life, love, and relationships.
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photo credit DandelionImages
There is something so powerful and moving about allowing yourself to sit in all your nakedness and feel your power while you at the same time witnessing another in their nakedness.
Nakedness is first and foremost an inner game.
Until we are able and willing to love ourselves as we strip ourselves down to our core…
See our light and our dark
Recognize our wounds and holdbacks
Allow ourselves to own our own power
Until we do these things with self we can never be truly naked with another person. True nakedness comes from true vulnerability and authenticity.
My question to you today is if you are ready to join this rare few?