“Let’s Skip to the good part”

This is the background lyrics to a TikTok trend that is going around, where you jump to the end photos of some project, health routine, pregnancy, business goals, etc. You go from having nothing to having the goal totally completed.

It seems super innocent, right? On the surface it is a fun trend, but in truth it highlights a huge issue in our current society and why so many are currently struggling in relationships.

It represents our desire for a goal but not for the messy in-between stages. The parts where things are tough and we are feeling a high level of contrast in our emotional and physical realities.

Our desire to have the prize without any of the work.

It highlights our desire to no longer have to put effort, blood, sweat, and tears into the things that we are truly craving, and so when we are hit with bumps along the way, instead of standing strong and steady for what we want, we give up. Even if our logic knows that some of the best things take time to build, our emotions and thoughts fall into a state of despair.

This can quickly lead into a mindset of learned helplessness where we stop trying because we believe we are helpless and hopeless to change our situation. Many times we just haven’t put in consistent effort.

Everything requires effort! Even in manifestation practices you must shift your energies and your focus to attract what you desire.

Many would say this is a newer generation issue, but I feel it is a growing issue across the generations as technology has provided us with instant gratification for many aspects of our lives. We’ve all gotten lazy!

This however, often can bleed into some of our bigger more important goals for our lives that do require time and attention. One of those being our relationships.

There is a laziness and desire to simply get to the “good part” and stay in the “good part” of relationships. We have become lazy in our dating and relationships where if it requires effort, that means that there is something broken. The tough times in our relationships is what builds a relationship to withstand difficult storms in the future and builds a solid foundation of trust.

In any relationship there is a growth process that happens. We don’t jump 100% into a hard-core long-term commitment right off the bat; it is important to learn about a person, spend time building love, connection, shared values, and trust. Though we often think we are done at that point. We’ve done a little bit of “work” and now we should be in the good parts and not have to put consistent effort.

As a Sex and Relationship Coach, I talk with people daily that discuss the lack of effort they want to put into their bedroom but that they want the magical sensual moments. Effort is required! Connection is required! We don’t get the blissful moments without an aligned mind, body, and spirit.

Whether it be in the bedroom or in our lives, we’ve lost the ability to dive into our goals and stick to them through the challenges and bring in a sense of innovation. We want it quick and easy and thus find ourselves discontent. Then when our world does force us to make changes and put in effort, as our lives will do, it can tear us down because we aren’t used to diving deep within self and within the things we do each day. We want it all to be fine and fixed.

The “good parts” of our lives come from seeing the contrast with the storms we had to push through, and from the culmination of desire and attention. It comes from the tears, all the emotions, and then the simplistic times.

We don’t get to skip to the good parts and so let’s start living in all the parts of our lives, not just simply striving for the bright and shiny.

Recover Your Life,
Addison B.