Love is Not Equal.
When you love someone it is unique. Unique to your energy, your personality, your lifestyle and that other person.
Yet, so many wish and desire and even tear relationships apart because the love isn’t equal.
How would one even measure such a thing? How to you measure the energy of love?
In roses? In calls/texts made? In time spent? In services provided?
Lately the topic of inequality of love has come up again and again with my clients, family, and friends.
I had a client other day, and then shortly after a friend ask me the same thing…
“Why am I the one that always has to reach out?”
Both of these individuals thought that their loved one’s lack of reaching out to them meant they didn’t love them.
But is that true?
In truth, these two people value the little check-ins and moments of connection. On further inquiry they both KNEW that had always been how the relationship had been.
My answer to both of these individuals was…. why does reaching out first bother you so much? If that connection matters to you and makes you feel good then it is just your ego getting in the way! Trying to make trouble.
Who cares if it’s not equal…. those other people were giving in other ways in the relationships.
And if it is a big deal then that’s when healthy communication comes into play since we all have different ways of feeling loved.
When we try to measure our love against how someone else loves us then we will always find differences. This creates an energy of nit-picking and pulling away the beautiful pieces of a relationship, in order to get control over how someone else shows up.
Love is not a matter of checks and balances!
If you truly love someone then you are loving and sharing from your inner most spirit. You are giving because it feels good. You aren’t waiting for that person to return… you are loving simply because you love.
And if you have any level of belief in law of attraction then you know that this pure state of love will be returned to you…
You just can’t control how, when, or from whom.
And that’s real love.
Love isn’t measured or equal.
When we try to do this then we squash our relationships
But at the same time…
If we are in a relationship and aren’t feeling loved there are things we can do and steps we can take. It’s normal to desire to be loved and cared for in our lives.
1) Communicate! Share with the other party where you are feeling uncared for in the relationship. Not what they are doing wrong but where you are needing love. Discuss YOUR needs.
2) It’s cliche BUT… where are you not loving yourself in that way that you are expecting others to love on you? Are you relying on another for all your fulfillment?
3) Leave the relationship!!! yes, if you are truly and consistently feeling like you are the only one that cares about a connection then you have a choice. Stay and understand that you are more invested in the relationship then that other person OR leave.
If something or someone is important to you then allow the love to be what it is. If you need to set boundaries… then do that.
But don’t limit you love to checks and balances.
Grab the Fire Within
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*Photo Credit DandelionImages