This last weekend I had the pleasure (pun intended) of modeling for a workshop run by a good friend and colleague. The workshop was “The Quenchless Female Orgasm Camp” run by Kendal Williams and her partner Scott. I’ve attended this workshop many times prior and I find the conversation exciting and take enjoyment in seeing people learn about sexuality in a new way. No matter how much you know about sexuality, there is always something new to learn or a new conversation to be had!This year, when asked to model for the workshop I honestly didn’t think much about it when I first agreed. It sounded fun and exciting in THEORY but I did not think about how I would feel when December 12th arrived. As the day got closer I began to get nervous and my negative Ego thoughts jumped into the mix. Ego jumping into the mix is never helpful in any situation but it is especially unhelpful when trying to get in the mood to be orgasmic. My brain ran wild with concerns but I settled into the faith and knowledge that, although I could do some things to increase my openness during the workshop, having anxiety about my body and its reactions would only allow this negativity to be called into my vibration. As much as my orgasm is “my problem,” I also know that if I demand a specific reaction from my body then the opposite usually occurs. So I breathed into the knowledge and trust I have in Scott and Kendal and vowed to let my body do what was right in that moment.
Thankfully, the evening before the event I was blessed to be able to go out with a lover for a relaxing dinner and a long sex session. My lover made it a point of spending some extra time increasing my arousal, which took me through to the next morning. I went to the workshop still a tad nervous but with energy from the previous evening and a sense of excitement at being able to expand my comfort zone. That morning I took a nice hot shower to soothe my sore muscles and pussy from the evening before and then put on my “Live A Fuck Yes Life” shirt, which is Kendal’s slogan and truly the attitude I was in that day. I was happy to see familiar faces when I arrived at the workshop and so settled into the beginning half where I watched Kendal and Scott teach on a variety of topics surrounding female sexuality, including but not limited to touch points, female sexual wiring, and creating sacred space.
As I sat in my seat and listened, I began to get slightly turned on by the thought that I soon would be lying on the table and receiving some divine touch. I began doing my Kegals to increase my level of turn-on and checked in with my body. I would love to say that I was 100% excited at this point but truly a big part of me was thinking, “What the fuck am I doing? Really, I’m going to get naked in front of all of these people?” I was then invited by the hosts to get naked! I didn’t think… I just did.
I was gently undressed and got on the table where I closed my eyes and began to feel different strokes and sensations that built up my Kundalini energy. I quickly found a rhythm of orgasmic waves as goosebumps creeped up my arms and down my belly. Scott began the internal work and I could feel my breath become heavier and quicker. Without even thinking about it I began making little noises and was thrown headfirst into a full orgasmic rollercoaster. After a bit of Scott stoking the fires of my orgasm, he asked if it was okay to start the lab portions to which I quickly nodded my consent. I stayed in a state of orgasm for about 1.5 hours where I was in a continual state of shaking as each person came up and began to stroke me and learn different areas of my body, as well as get instructions from Kendal as how to translate this into their own sexing. Throughout the session, as the men and women touched me in the lab, I could feel my G-spot expanding, my heart chakra opening, both my breasts lifting in anticipation, and my cervix relaxing into the orgasmic surge. At one point, I had a wave of fear come up in me and was wholly grateful that Kendal was there to reach out to while I breathed through this unnamed fear that had been shaken loose from my body, and the next second I was hysterically laughing and my orgasmic energy was releasing from my throat chakra. This level of orgasm spread from my toes to my crown charka. Later on, I would be riding the orgasmic wave and start to cry. I had no idea why I was crying but I felt incredible sadness and wanted simply to be held. This orgasm was also throughout my body and as it flowed I started to feel emotionally lighter. I know that throughout the workshop I had a minimum of 10 people touching me but truly it was all a blur of feelings, sensations, and at times a gentle disconnection from reality.
As I went in and out of a state of reality, I was honored to experience all the different energies and hear some heartfelt questions from people. I occasionally would give directions to them about how to increase my arousal, what felt good, what was uncomfortable, and simply got some extra practice in using my voice.
By the end of the workshop, I was physically and energetically spent! I was flying high on all my yummy brain chemicals but had some difficulty reconnecting with reality. Thankfully, I received some good grounding energy that helped me start integrating back into myself and also had some water to assist in the process. My physical temperature went from warm to feeling like the room I was in was at a subzero temperature. I had had this experience in the past after doing bodywork on others but it was the most intense energetic drop that I had ever experienced after my own work.
I had slight orgasmic tremors running through my hands and body for the remainder of the evening. I was thankful to be able to take the rest of the day to get some good food to nourish my system, and a hot bath because once I was back to reality my pussy was pounding and quite sore from over 20 fingers being inserted. Yep, I went from super sexy mode to big pajamas, tea, and TV time! It was orgasmic in its own right.
As I laid there in the bath with a cup of tea, I went over my day. There was a sense of internal pride for continuing to expand myself as a person. I ask each and every one of my clients to step out of their comfort zones and so I was proud to say that night I was practicing what I preach. I stepped head first into insecurities and allowed myself to really be seen and become vulnerable.
I write all of this not to pat myself on the back but really to be open and honest about the fact that we are always on our own path of healing and growth. No matter if yours has been 4 days, 4 months, 4 years, or 40 years! No one is exempt from the heart-pounding moment of fear before being incredibly vulnerable, the Ego that can tell us lies, the excitement of new situations, and the joy of divine moments where you feel wholly connected to your body. These are ongoing and a part of how we learn to live deeper and fuller lives.
This is me, Addison Bell, getting naked one more time for you, my readers, with hopes that you will learn and take something away for yourself!
