You F*ck with Me…that’s one thing.
You F*ck with someone I love… that’s a different story!
I’m all peace, love, and light…. but I am a protective dragon when you purposely and knowingly hurt those I love and care about.
I read through past conversations and I’m angry…
I think through past interactions and my chest tightens and doubt, shame, and disgust comes up in my gut…
I feel through the emotions and the turmoil from the disconnect
You f*cked with me… I can take that
You f*cked over an entire community of loving, understanding souls… We can manage
BUT, BUT, BUT…
You f*cked with her, knowingly, purposely, and in a premeditated cowards fashion….
?You haven’t had to watch the physical bruises heal around her wrists, her neck, her knee, and across her face
?You haven’t had to look in her eyes and see the hurt
?You didn’t have to sit and explain to someone that is so very strong and a Goddess in her own right that she was verbalizing textbook abuse
? You haven’t had to look in her face as she learns more each day about your planning, your betrayals, your true heart
?And you most certainly don’t see the trauma and pain you are causing in your own blood just to pump up your own ego.
You could have just walked away
You could have had a civil conversation
You could have made a million different choices along the way
But instead you chose violence and deceit
?I’m praying for the community you hurt.
?I’m praying for your kids.
?I’m praying for her but most of all…
?I’m praying for your soul.
Because there is light, truth, and beauty here…
And that is what is needed to fight such darkness
I pray you wake up and see the light
I’m praying for my own healing as well in all of this. And honestly not the healing you would think. I pray for the ability to forgive myself.
?Forgive myself for not stepping in when I saw what was going on and how you were hurting her and them
?Forgive myself for continuing to play along with your games in order to keep peace
?Forgive myself for holding onto hope that you would change, open your heart, and let someone in
?Forgive myself for not setting appropriate boundaries
?Forgive myself for not verbalizing my concerns straight to her even if in that moment it wouldn’t have been heard
?Forgive myself for not calling you out for your bulls*it
?Forgive myself for allowing you to hurt one of the most important people in my life.
This “fierce friend” fell down on the job… and I hope to one day years down the road forgive myself for that
There are messages here for all involved.
There is healing that is painful yet beautiful happening as I look at the people around me
There is a community and a love developing like I’ve never seen
There is an unfolding into an even more beautiful life as I watch her and the kids
There is sadness, there are tears, but there is a beautiful light that can’t be extinguished.
So I pray for you to find that same light
To give up the darkness of your ego vendetta
And let go of the lighter!
Your heart and your soul knows that you have wandered way off the path.
So I pray for you!
BUT
I won’t sit here quiet any longer
I won’t let you continue to harm
I will stand strong in my knowledge, my truth, and my love!
?Even in the darkest heart, God is still there with truth, love, and light!?
