I love words! I always have!
I was the bookworm-ish 10yr old reading Wuthering Heights and getting lost in the words of love being spoken. I am also the person that adores to be told by a loved one that I matter, am cherished, and loved. Although I am a bit of a mix of love languages…words at times can speak volumes and crack my heart right open.
But words can oftentimes be just that… words!
Pretty words that have no backing or action behind them.
The last few weeks I have heard an abundance of pretty words… “I love you”, “You matter to me”, “I support you”, “I want you in my life”…. Blah, Blah, Blah.
And I have also watched as clients and friends have had to step through this dangerous land of pretty words over and over recently, as well.
Words that are just empty promises and sentiments.
Words that aren’t being backed by action, effort, or energy.
Words that make you feel good when they are coming out of your mouth but aren’t attached to anything but ego.
We do this throughout our lives. I am frequently asking my client, and even at times myself, where actions are matching stated desires. You can’t say you desire something but then continue to take no action or opposite action. We all can fall into this trap when fear hits or insecurities take hold but if we are committed we step-up and step-in.
I think we all know people that are all talk in their dreams and goals without any action!
Though more than dreams, goals, and desires…
Pretty words run rampant in our relationships.
Someone throwing out sentiments of love & connection but never willing to put in the actions to match the words.
Words thrown out in order to get a relationship… words meaninglessly thrown out in order to appease a partner… or words in order to grasp and hold onto a partner.
Though when these words are not coming from a true heart-centered and action oriented place they can create havoc on a heart.
You are saying one thing while doing another creating a complete state of cognitive dissonance for the other person. Allowing that person to open their hearts based on your words. And you are diving deeper into a state of inauthentic relating.
Creating traumatic blocks against words and statements within us. These pretty unfulfilled words when used again and again but never backed up can have us putting up unconscious walls.
I love you… I promise… I’ll always… I’ll never…
AND THE BULLSH*T-O-METER can get super triggered!
We believe that words have no power but in truth words can have extreme power for both the positive and the negative.
When we share from our hearts and it comes attached with matching energy and actions then this creates trust and safety in a relationship.
When we share words but then don’t take the action to back them up then they lose their value. Words end up becoming hollow. We become untrusting.
Now we are not looking for perfection here because that is a losing battle. Particularly in a relationship perfection is a losing battle. There are times of upheaval and instability in all people and relationships. Times when someone or both parties are going through something and words don’t always convey or match 100% of action.
And when you begin to see this then that is when you know healing is in order! Because if the sentiments are true then something needs to be fixed within to get the energies and actions realigned.
Though…ladies and gents… many times in relationships (and in truth, life ) our lips are moving but the action and true heart connection to the words are never there.
And if this is you then it’s time for you to stop disrespecting yourself with your authenticity. If the heart is behind the words then the actions will match.
It really is that simple.
And if your actions aren’t matching then it’s time to take a good hard look at why! Why are you not following through! Where is the disconnect?
If you want to shut a relationship down then continue throwing pretty words that are meaningless around! You will not only shut down your partners heart but also their sex. Their trust. And eventually the relationship.
The key is to speak whatever is authentically going on and then put authentic action behind it.
Pretty words are pretty but hold no weight without matching action!
Watch your words!
Watch the connection to your words.
And watch how you are putting those words into daily actions!
Love, Light, & Blessings,