Sex doesn’t equal quality time.
I had a client in the office the other day that was sharing about their desire for quality time with their woman. Sharing that because of recent life circumstances time alone has been more difficult to come by as kids are home and life is busy. Then he proceeded later to share about how him and his woman have been doing a ton together….
Long story short and I stopped him in his tracks and asked about the conflicting information. Spending tons of time together but also having the experience of not getting time with her.
It all came down to SEX
It’s not that this woman wasn’t spending time talking with him. Its not that this woman wasn’t being playful with him. It’s not that they didn’t even get time where they were exchanging touch or intimate conversations.
He wasn’t getting sex at the frequency in which he was accustomed.
At the end of the day he was equating quality time with his partner to time that had to include sex.
And as I sit here and ponder today… I think over the commonness of this misconception and also miscommunication.
Sex does not equal quality time and quality time does not equal sex.
When we are having sex this can be a beautiful experience of sharing ourselves with our partners and can be very connective. These are the moments that our sex does fit into quality time since it is present and loving.
But there are tons of other times when our sex is not quality and therefore does not equal quality time for both partners.
If you are leaving your partner hanging or focused only on your orgasm in the bedroom then this is not quality. If you are in a rush or wishing for it to just end then this is not quality. If you are in your head and not present in your body and with your partners body or if you are pushing them into sex that they are at best a “meh” too then that is not quality.
Many equate quality time with sex and leave their partners confused about why they never seem to be able to meet their needs. Leaving the sex seeker frustrated, pouty, and resentful because their needs aren’t getting met… but in truth they aren’t actually expressing their needs/desires/intentions.
And in truth…. especially when it comes to the energetic polarities of women… true quality time leads to quality sex. When you are able to connect with your partner more than just in the bedroom than the bedroom is free to become deeper and more satisfying because the energies are flowing and they are able to drop into an opened heart within the sex.
And if sex is your main way of connecting with your partner then are you asking for that sex directly? Can you connect in other ways and fill yourself in their presence without sex? And why does it take orgasm or straight pleasure for you to feel like you are getting presence with your partner?
Sex can be an amazing way to connect with a partner and can be a part of quality time but there is also more to true connection. Sex allows us to explore and expand into many different ways with a partner. It’s vulnerable, expanding, playful, etc.
But there are times when this isn’t in the cards for a variety of potential reasons… so are you going to let a relationship die, the passion die, the connection die… just because you can’t have sex?
Then you are addicted to the orgasm and not really and truly wanting connection. You are simply looking for your next “fix”.
Communicating clearly is important.
If you want sex from your partner…. ask.
If you want quality time with your partner… ask.
If you just want a f*ck toy to get your fix … be clear with that too.
But sex does not equal quality time.
This is a dangerous belief system.
Sex can be a beautiful part of quality time!
Make your time quality!
Make your sex quality!
~Recover Your Life~
Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison
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