Recreating the Wound
A few years back I heard the phrase, “If you don’t heal what hurt you. You will bleed on people that didn’t cut you”.
It stayed with me and deeply resonated with much of what I see in my business and personal life.
People having experiences of abandonment, abuse, trauma, infidelity, etc. and it changes them deeply. Creating a wound that is translated to insecurity, lack of worthiness, and lack of trust.
This creates a spiral of energies that impact those that are in our world. We work to build relationships and while building we carry the luggage of past wounding. We take it and place it front and center in between ourselves and other people in our lives…
Especially our intimate relationships. Without really digging through our luggage we place it down in front of new partners and start to throw some of the junk out at them.
We don’t take the time to dig through this luggage and do the healing necessary and not just the healing but also the realizations of what we need to do differently in relationship. Even if that “different” is simply how we view a situation.
Instead we stare at the wounding and dig up old negative energies and fear for our future, and pull it into our current vibration which leads us to recreating those old wounds again and again.
Oftentimes we don’t even see the writing on the wall as we dive head first into manifesting our past wounding. We make comments about fears of being hurt in the same way or continually bring up past situations and how we’ve been hurt. Bringing up that same vibration.
And from a law of attraction space we know that where attention goes energy flows.
Basically screaming to the Universe that you would like to experience that pain once again!
We jump on the smallest details that even remotely looks like the luggage that we carry around. We set up situations unconsciously to lead those we love straight into our recreation process.
We most often share in ways that will shut down open and honest communication. Passively accusing, judging, or asking leading questions in a way that kinks the ability for someone to answer in the most truthful of spaces.
And once the flow of communication is shut down in a relationship then it breaks down trust and safety. Two key components to healthy relationships. Also opening up a wide space for wounding to reoccur.
Then we stand their shocked and screaming about how we KNEW this was going to happen because it ALWAYS happens. It has continually happened throughout our lives and we pile even more onto our pile of wounded luggage.
It’s easy to point the finger outwards
It’s easy to think that we just always call in the “same people”
When in truth it’s that we are always the same people unless we make an effort to change.
Some part of us wants to recreate the wound… wants to believe we are unworthy… wants to believe the world is a safe and uncaring place…
And tons of other affirmations of our own shadow.
But we don’t have to continue.
We can heal the wound and stop calling in the same old pains repetitively.
But that requires focused change.
Change by taking a good look in the mirror and seeing where we are truly choosing to focus our thoughts. Digging deep into our old belief systems. Change by choosing a different emotion and thus a different energy.
And in relationships looking beyond what we want to see and getting real about what is actually present in between each partner. Looking at where we aren’t being honest with another and also where we aren’t allowing for another to be honest and open with us.
In order to stop recreating your wounds you have to be willing to be consistently doing the work of connecting with self and being willing to look at those in your life as people that are simply holding up your mirrors and lessons.
Your wounding in past relationship is there for a reason. It can be a beautiful place of which lessons and growth can emerge. But you don’t have to keep dragging it through your life! You can put it down and find new beauty to manifest into your world.
🔥Grab the Fire Within 🔥
Get on Addison’s Waiting List for Coaching today and flame the fires of your life, love, and relationships.
Apply here: www.addisonbell.net/contact
Photo credit DandelionImages