You are choosing the relationships that are keeping you stuck.
Yes, most of us choose relationships that are comfortable but not comfortable in the sense that we feel seen, heard, and understood. No, we choose relationships that are comfortable in the way that we don’t have to push ourselves and grow.
We stay in these relationships that allow us to not have to look at self or that actually keep us from the exact type of relationship we are searching for in theory.
Why? Because as humans we enjoy being in the comfort zone and often in our society….
Our hearts are on the other side of that comfort zone.
We may think our hearts are involved or that we are truly doing things out of love but if we authentically tune in…
We are doing the exact opposite.
We are not setting the necessary boundaries … which is not love.
We are not going after what we truly desire… which is not love
We are speaking half-truths or lying… which is not love
We are not going after the relationship we desire because we KNOW we can get the occasional little “hit” from the current one.
We don’t end the marriage that has turned into roommates because that would mean us having to put in effort or do something difficult.
We end up settling!… which is never loving towards self and in truth far from loving towards that other person.
When we are not growing we are dying and so many people choose to stifle their own growth and hide from the abundance waiting for them by staying in relationships that are “good enough”. If one party begins to do work on themselves and the other does not then space will begin to happen in the relationship… so we just opt out of the growth process completely.
While most are unhappy and feeling disappointed with the fact that they haven’t found true joy. Yet by settling for “good enough” in one area of our lives then we are also settling for good enough in the rest of our lives.
Why isn’t the money coming?
Why isn’t the promotion happening?
Why isn’t that new business taking off?
You’re telling the Universe you are choosing to settle!!!
I mean…
It’s better than shaking the boat
It’s better than going to bed alone
Some sex is better than no sex
I’m doing it for the kids
This is going to cause a fight
Blah, blah, blah….
But you sit and blame and look at the other person as the reason for all your issues. All the reasons you aren’t moving forward… when in truth it is YOU keeping YOU stuck by remaining where you know you are not meant to be.
And of course, you don’t want to deal with the fallout drama of being brutally honest and either making changes to the relationship or truly just putting an end to the relationship.
Nope, let’s just stay another day right where we are truly not finding fulfillment and we see that the energy is stifling.
Even the best of relationships have their ups and downs!
This actually grows us as humans to dive deep and do the work in relationships. To hold space for self or other while they are progressing through something or just dealing with a rough patch. This can be a beautiful process to move through when it is a relationship that you desire at your core. Brings you joy in so many ways. AND when both people are willing to step in and get messy.
This is a much different ballgame then knowing you are unhappy and don’t want the relationship long-term but instead choosing to stay comfortable again and again. This is different than staying just to stay.
Allowing your soul to die day by day as you lean away from all the things truly meant for you and all your alignment.
Or you can do the inner work and make a change!
Yes…begin pruning the relationship….
Begin having the hard conversations and speaking your truth…
Begin setting the hard boundaries…
Begin transformation what needs to be transformed in order for you to keep growing.
OR
Totally do the uncomfortable and sever the relationship.
If it is truly not a relationship you desire then why are you sticking around?
If you truly loved someone then you won’t hold them hostage thinking you are in love with them
And at the end of the day…
It’s your life to either keep spinning your wheels or moving forward.
Sending you all,
Love, Light, & Blessings
Addison
www.addisonbell.net
