Stop F*cking Lying to Yourself…
You don’t actually care
And if you do care then it’s time that you take a look at your actions.
Or lack thereof!
You say you care about your romantic partner, your family, your friends, etc.
But when was the last time you went out of your way to surprise them with something you knew they would enjoy?
Not something they had to ask for or beg …
A card, flowers, cuddles, an adventure?
When did your partner come home to find a candlelight dinner on the table and you excited to see them?
When was the last time you spent time with your child and were truly present in what they were saying and connecting to them.
When was the last time you called a friend and said, “Bitch, get dressed I know you’re having a rough day and we are going on an adventure”
Or gave a genuine hug…
Or wrote a handwritten note…
Or spent focused time ASKING about them
Or bought something (even just a candy bar) because you knew it would make the other person smile???
When did you last do something just because you cared?
But yet you sit there wondering why no one ever does those things for YOU. You wonder why you never receive the love you desire.
And here is the deal.
I speak to people every day that think they are doing what is necessary but often they are totally missing the mark. They look from thier perspectives and think, “OMFG, I’m doing everything possible here”.
But are you?
Are you really?
Much of the time they feel drained themselves and so don’t see where they are half-assing connection. They look at all they are “doing” but missing out on the fact that there never is a true sense of presence or thought behind their supposed gifts. It’s just another “have to” or thing to get done.
We get upset because we think these half-hearted attempts should be enough.
A few stolen minutes should be enough.
A throw-away comment should express it.
A “bro hug” or quick peck on the lips should do
As well as we begin turning the people we claim to love into another chore…
Thus creating just that in reality.
I am reminded of a couple I worked with months ago. I remember listening to the wife tell me how her husband never seemed satisfied with their sex life (a very common complaint). And in truth this was his love language and he was in a state of neediness. He was hungry!!! He was not truly being fed.
He felt his “box” of neediness and thus became more needy
She became angry because they were having sex.
She got pissed off and resentful
She didn’t understand why he didn’t feel loved
She didn’t understand why he wasn’t happy and always wanting more
The fact is that although she was going through the motions…
She wasn’t actually present with him and this man just wanted the presence
Despite her not saying it he felt her retraction of love
And we often retract our love without being entirely conscious
We make decisions for others
We don’t speak our desires
We steal opportunities
We don’t tune into the others in our lives
We stop doing the things we used to do that were important
We get caught up in all we are “DOING”
We get caught up in our own lives
And stop truly trying… and thus NOT CARING.
Or placing those we love into made-up boxes… positive and negative
But get frustrated when our relationships aren’t what we desire or are lacking in depth.
Or for some of us, we just move onto someone else and trade in that old relationship
Only truly to find that same issue presenting again and again to us in different people.
Today, I ask you to check your true presence level.
I challenge you to look at where you are boxing in yourself and others
I challenge you to look at where you potentially could be retracting your love unconsciously and make it conscious
Where are you feeling drained and might need some self-care in order to be the BEST YOU in relationship?
Because you are worth an amazing mind-blowing relationship!
You are worth connection that leaves you fulfilled.
And you deserve the beautiful gift that we receive when we give from that deeper level of self!
Stop starving yourself… And start feeding yourself!
Addison
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You can keep doing what you are doing.
Or you can choose to take a leap of faith and do a consult with me
You can reignite YOURSELF!
You can reignite your RELATIONSHIP
Jump Into Your Abundant Life Today.
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