You sit there telling me about me.
Yet, you don’t even truly know me.
You judge me based upon the little pieces that I have allowed you to see of me. You think you know all about me but you know nothing.
You have this distorted fantasy of who I am, where my hang-ups are, and who I need to be
Who made you King of Anything??
Who made your word more powerful than my own? Your desires more worthy? Read more →
Do you want to know one of my favorite places in my house? It’s my bathroom. One might find this a bit strange, but let me take a moment to explain. In my bathroom, there is a corkboard where I keep little notes that the people closest to me have written. I get letters and cards throughout the year, but you have to be at a certain level with me to truly make it to the bathroom corkboard. It’s an honor reserved for those that I want their loving voices with me throughout the day and to boost me up on those days when I need boosting. In these letters and notes on this corkboard are mainly short messages that remind me that I am loved and cared about. There really are no ten-page letters of heart dripping vulnerability. Nope, these messages look more like, “I love you. You are beautiful, amazing, courageous, and funny.” Every morning when I am doing my morning routine, and throughout the day whenever I need to go into the bathroom, I get to look at these messages and occasionally will send off some energetic gratitude to the people that wrote the notes. I tell you this because these small scraps of paper on my wall are big things in my heart. They are little things, but they are, on some days, everything! Read more →
We all go through times in our lives that are harder than others. A few months ago, I was seeing several men, and I was enjoying the heck out of each one of them. Each man was unique in his personality and looks, the way he approached life, and the way he approached me. Each was special in his own way. But things got pretty crazy in my life for a few months, and honestly, I lost the peppy and flirtatious me and was authentic with them about the fact that I was hurting. I wasn’t interested in sex, was pretty negative in my thinking, and had a lot of stress riding on my shoulders. Read more →
Most men learn very early how to masturbate and, thus, begin conditioning their bodies into what, for some, remains a lifetime of addiction to short-lived, mediocre orgasms. Many are uneducated and unaware about how to increase their orgasmic potential, the benefits, and the nuances of such a primal part of themselves. Read more →
I lay there on the table in front of the crowd, and I can hear the small whispers as I settle into my positioning. I feel the whispered breeze the air conditioner is creating above me that sends a shiver down my spine and listen to the pitter patter my heart is giving off. I take a deep inhale as I prepare my mind and body to enter the realm of orgasm. I have a hard time quieting my mind at this moment because for the last few weeks, I’ve had a significant amount of stress that has been greatly impacting my orgasm, and all these eyes are watching me are wanting to see orgasmic energy. There is an expectant energy oozing from the crowd of smiling faces.Read more →
“The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.” -David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
I sit with a male sex coaching client and he tells me all about how his wife has dramatically changed over the last few years, which has him greatly concerned and also has him feeling frustrated. He explains how, when they first married, his wife was upbeat and fun to be around, had a high sex drive, and was full of energy in her life. But, then, he describes a woman that, only a few years later, now, has a low sex drive, sometimes experiences pain during sex, is low energy, moody, and simply does not have her old optimistic attitude. As I dig deeper into his sex life, the reason for these sudden changes begin to unfold before me as I am told about a lack of sex in the marriage due to the daily demands of stress and children. When sex is happening, it’s usually only between 15 and 20 minutes, never involves cuddling, and is always climax-focused for both him and his wife. He states, “But it’s not like she is not orgasming, she always has a clitoral orgasm.” I chuckle as we spend the remainder of the session talking about the mysterious female body and the difference between all right sex and soul-shaking sex, and the great importance of the latter.
If you know me, then you know I adore music and have different artists for every mood. Music inspires my body and soul, and today, I am in a very soulful mood. I lie here in the grass on a beautiful spring day as the sun shines through my strawberry blonde hair and onto my pale white skin. Then my music library shuffles to Dave Matthews Band and the song “Dreamgirl” begins my turn-on, and then continues with “Crash Into Me.” Both of which make my soul sing with desire and orgasmic energy. It feels very fitting for this divine moment. I start singing along and thinking about how EVERY woman should have at least one man, if not more, in her life that looks at her this way. I close my eyes and dream of one of my lovers sitting next to me and staring at me with a mischievous boyish grin of desire and hope. Taking in not only the sun reflecting off of my body, but also looking deep into my soul to see all the beautiful little messy parts of me that he adores. It brings a beautiful smile to my face. I start to dream of my “Dream-man” where we continually and playfully ‘crash’ together! Chasing after one another in an animalistic playful way that is also sensual, where we are eating each other up, and can’t get enough at that moment.
Scenario 1: We have just come out from an extraordinary concert that has my heart dancing from the beautiful music. As we walk down the sidewalk, he grasps my shoulders and pushes me to the right, and I get jokingly scolded as he explains that he needs to be between me and traffic. In this moment, he wants to be my protector.
Scenario 2: I patiently sit and wait for him to come around to my side of the car and open the door. I have to take a second to breathe past my conditioning of doing things for myself and just allow. He opens the door, I place my hand in his, and he gives me a gentle kiss before guiding me to our destination as I thank him for his thoughtfulness.
Scenario 3: We are lying on the couch and just chatting as he shows me some interesting pictures and videos on social media. The conversation turns slightly sexy, and there is definitely a sexual tension in the room, but I feel frozen and am not making any moves. Then he suddenly stands up, grasps my hand, says he wants me, and pulls me up the stairs to his bedroom where we have an evening of play.
I receive the text message long before we are even supposed to meet… he is excited to see me and thinking about the upcoming meeting. I’m getting turned on mentally in that moment, and slowly, anticipation starts to build. By the time I arrive at our meeting place I have passed arousal and made it to a sense of nervousness. I know this man, but in the past we have only shared a few hot kisses. We begin the evening with a luxurious glass of wine, sitting on the floor and casually talking about our days.