Become Tied Up & Twisted In Your Dreamgirl

 

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Photos taken by -Photography In Wonderland

If you know me, then you know I adore music and have different artists for every mood. Music inspires my body and soul, and today, I am in a very soulful mood. I lie here in the grass on a beautiful spring day as the sun shines through my strawberry blonde hair and onto my pale white skin. Then my music library shuffles to Dave Matthews Band and the song “Dreamgirl” begins my turn-on, and then continues with “Crash Into Me.” Both of which make my soul sing with desire and orgasmic energy. It feels very fitting for this divine moment. I start singing along and thinking about how EVERY woman should have at least one man, if not more, in her life that looks at her this way. I close my eyes and dream of one of my lovers sitting next to me and staring at me with a mischievous boyish grin of desire and hope. Taking in not only the sun reflecting off of my body, but also looking deep into my soul to see all the beautiful little messy parts of me that he adores. It brings a beautiful smile to my face. I start to dream of my “Dream-man” where we continually and playfully ‘crash’ together! Chasing after one another in an animalistic playful way that is also sensual, where we are eating each other up, and can’t get enough at that moment.

Every woman should be looked at with this intense love and passion! Every woman should be considered a divine forest of intricacies that is to be discovered and devoured. Where they are viewed as some beautiful work of art that frequently hear how they turn their man on physically and emotionally. Every woman should hear how their man gets “tied up and twisted’ when thinking about their woman’s body. Where they are being chased by their man and are viewed as the most amazing dream where a man continually wants to dive deeper and deeper into her body and soul, and also where she sees all this intense desire in his eyes when he looks at her.

I meet with so many women that hate themselves and all the little imperfections that create their divine uniqueness. As a woman myself, I get it and can’t say that I love every single aspect of myself every moment of the day, but as women, we should feel like our lovers are reveling in all those little pieces. I am all for women learning to love and embrace themselves, and so this does not take the responsibility off of the woman for loving herself, but a divine masculine has the ability to show his Goddess even deeper levels of her own divinity.

In order to reach those depths of divinity, however, she needs someone to “hold” her and not just physically, but also emotionally hold space for her to open. This means beautiful orgasmic moments along with moments of tears, laughter, and if she’s anything like me, sometimes a great big mixture of the two at once. It will be like watching the most beautiful volcano erupt over and over again the deeper you take her. However, this requires a man to be in his divine masculine energy where she can fully trust and allow herself to go to these beautiful depths. When a woman is in this place, you can see the energy radiating off of her being, and her beauty seems to be increased tenfold. She is sending out love and openness into the world and bringing you right along with her on the journey.

Many men talk about wishing their woman was more playful, but you may need to help her drop into that playfulness. Women on a primal level were made to be chased, and men were meant to be our pursuers. Men should be looking at their woman like she is the most divine prize to be won over and over again, and should be tapping into their most primal instincts as men. Every time you have sex with a woman, you should be discovering her like it’s the very first time because, honestly, you have never truly had sex with this version of her before. Women are constantly changing and never the same and so explore her, devour her, hold her so close that she can surrender to not only you but herself.

Throughout daily life, I often hear comments about how we should not be “objectifying” women. I totally agree that women are people to be appreciated for more than their bodies. However, with these messages, I feel, as a society, we have turned into a place where men feel wrong or perverse for appreciating, complimenting, or being aroused by the feminine form. This is a grave misfortune because the female form is divine and is meant to be honored and appreciated.

I want to hear how a man finds pleasure in the curve of my breast or the sway of my hips. Just as much as I savor when a lover tells me that he enjoys my youthful spirit and how my eyes portray my caring heart. All of these things make up me in my divine feminine and, ultimately, who I am as a whole person… physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Compliments may be difficult for a woman based upon learned programming, but a woman in tune with herself will revel in these statements. The key is to complement a woman just for the pure pleasure of sharing your pleasure with her and not in order to simply convince her to engage in sexual play. Goddesses are meant to be worshipped just for the pure fact that they are each uniquely and divinely beautiful and in turn, a Goddess who feels worshipped will worship her god!

CALL TO MEN

Play with her; arouse her body and her mind. Fuck her wide open physically and emotionally and watch her become your Dreamgirl. Chase her! Connect to your masculine so she can connect to her feminine. Allow yourself to get unabashedly lost in your thoughts of her mind and body. Tell her how you love her and all the beauty you see deep within her. And allow her to wrap you up in the playful chains of her divine energy. Never get complacent and take her divinity for granted. Continue to hunt to learn every little inch of her and then start all over again to rediscover her day-in and day-out.

CALL TO WOMEN

Don’t settle for anything else than being ravished. Learn to let him in and drop your masculine walls that have been built up through trauma and toil. See yourself as a Dreamgirl, and he will begin to see you that way too. Play with daydreams in your head, listen to music that set you on fire, and explore each and every part of your own body and soul. Allow yourself to surrender into divine moments of bliss. Let him worship you!

 

Need help learning to own your Divine Masculine/Feminine? Help on how to arouse her fully and completely? Or find ways to ‘spice’ things up in the bedroom? Reach out to www.addisonbell.net/contact to work with me TODAY!

Musical Inspiration:

“Dreamgirl”- Dave Matthews Band

“Crash Into Me”- Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds

Letting Men Lead

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Scenario 1: We have just come out from an extraordinary concert that has my heart dancing from the beautiful music. As we walk down the sidewalk, he grasps my shoulders and pushes me to the right, and I get jokingly scolded as he explains that he needs to be between me and traffic. In this moment, he wants to be my protector.

 Scenario 2: I patiently sit and wait for him to come around to my side of the car and open the door. I have to take a second to breathe past my conditioning of doing things for myself and just allow. He opens the door, I place my hand in his, and he gives me a gentle kiss before guiding me to our destination as I thank him for his thoughtfulness.

 Scenario 3: We are lying on the couch and just chatting as he shows me some interesting pictures and videos on social media. The conversation turns slightly sexy, and there is definitely a sexual tension in the room, but I feel frozen and am not making any moves. Then he suddenly stands up, grasps my hand, says he wants me, and pulls me up the stairs to his bedroom where we have an evening of play.

Three different men, three different scenarios. What is similar is that in each scenario the man was leading and fully in the masculine. None of the men were pushy or aggressive; they instead were confident and self-assured in their actions. Each made a firm gesture, but I still had the choice at that moment to accept or deny. In scenario three, that lover would never have dragged me up the stairs without consent, but instead, he knew what he wanted and was direct in his approach, and his directness made me want it more. Often, when people think of the masculine they think of someone who is more aggressive, but in truth that is not what is behind the masculine. A true masculine man doesn’t have to be pushy and is in touch with his own feminine energy enough to be able to recognize when he needs to hold space for his woman. However, he does not live from his feminine energy.

Instead, he is focused and knows what he wants or at least is on a mission to find out. He owns when he has made a mistake and owns his emotional state. But at the end of the day, he is steady! This is what women that are fully in their balanced feminine energy want and need: a strong but steady masculine.

As a friend of mine says that women are like the ocean, all over the place but beautifully creative in their natural state, whereas men are like arrows, knowing exactly where they are headed and with fierce determination. This is why women are so connected physically to the earth and the moon. We flow in a variety of ways when we are truly allowing. Now both sexes, male and female, need some of the other to balance, but too much of the opposite and relationships and physical and emotional health begin to suffer.

WOMEN:

I can already hear all my feminist women out there cringing at the above words!

I spent a big part of my younger years in staunch feminist mode, but the truth is I was missing a part of me. I was missing my core and guiding energy because I was too much in my masculine of “work, do, focus” when I was needing more flow and creativity to fill my spirit. This lack of flow was eating me alive, and I see it eating many of my female clients alive as well. Their hormones are out of whack. They are on handfuls of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, are fighting with their partners, and are physically drained of all energy. They are simple shells of what they were meant to be. Stepping back into your feminine does not take away from your rights or worth as a female. Instead, it makes you stand fully in your power as a female in your natural state. It is you not changing yourself to better fit in with the masculine but instead being your beautiful feminine self and embracing it!

Allowing a man to lead is not always easy. It takes pushing against our societal conditioning that says we should not “need” help from anyone else and should be independent. The truth is I do not NEED a man to open my door for me. I have two perfectly fine hands that know just how to open a door, but I WANT my lovers to take the time to honor me with these little gestures. Like in Scenario 2, sometimes it takes me actively breathing into these moments and learning to receive fully if I’m entirely truthful (something that I’m continually working on). However, in return for receiving these little gifts of honoring from my men, I also try to take the time to honor them as well and let them know they are appreciated. We learn from each other, and every time I am with them, they teach me a little bit more about myself and my femininity.

MEN:

MAN UP!

I know that sounds really harsh, but let me explain. I am not saying become aggressive or cut yourself off from your emotions. Instead, I am saying to step into confidence and step into the energy of leading. Show your woman that she matters to you and that you are there to support her, not by being one of her girl friends, (hopefully she already has some of those) but instead by being her stable and grounding force. By stepping into your masculine, you allow your partner the safety to let go and become that sexy feminine force you fantasize about. You want a woman fully orgasmic and participating in amazing, mind-blowing sex? Then be the stable point that allows her to get out of her head and submit to her desires. This also will help you maintain your health as well because with too much feminine energy, a man’s libido drops and his physical and emotional health decreases. When a man stands fully in his masculine, he begins to have more success at work, dating, and relationships, gets more accomplished during the day, and has a higher sex drive.

In Scenario 3, I talk about a lover literally leading me to bed, not forcing me but simply leading with a small tug and a sly smile. A few months after this event, I had an experience where a lover was NOT leading, and so I was both trying to be in my masculine “plotting and planning” while also getting into my feminine and dropping into my body to allow my orgasmic energy. What happened was many missteps and hurt feelings. He was not leading, and I was too much in my own masculine energy. We could have had many moments of mind-blowing sex but instead ended up unfulfilled and feeling unbalanced in the relationship. The night could have been entirely different if he had stepped into his masculine, had been more direct and steady, and had used that drop of feminine energy to tune into the fact that I was having an internal process and needed him to lead. The same goes if I had been fully in my feminine, listened to my desires, and then used that drop of masculine energy to approach what my feminine was wanting.

This does not mean women do not need to take responsibility for their own pleasure and desires. I actually think the contrary. It’s important that the man does not always feel he is pushing the woman to have sex and is always the initiator. Women are taught not to ask for what we want, and so stepping fully into our sexuality and fear of asking for what we want is vital to our growth. So for example in Scenario 3, I should have stepped into my desire in that moment and owned how I was feeling turned on.

This also does not mean that a man shouldn’t be in the receptive mode either; it simply means in daily comings and goings the man should be in his masculine and the female in her feminine to make a harmonious balance.

WOMEN—Learn to drop into your feminine and receive while taking responsibility for your sexing.

MEN—Lead and hold space for your woman so you can teach each other. Learn to find your stability for your life in your masculine.

LEARN MORE TODAY ABOUT HOW TO STEP INTO YOUR MASCULINE/FEMININE ENERGY www.addisonbell.net/contact