When we have kids or are around kids, it’s pretty common sense that if they ask a question or aren’t understanding a perspective, that we will talk at “their level”.
As a coach, I do this daily with clients because while pushing my clients to grow, I also recognize that they are all at different stage in their lives. More than that though, I realize that their experiences and foundations are different.
Though in my daily life with lovers, family, and friends. Sometimes I make efforts too come at those I love with the same understanding and at other times…
Well let’s just say that I lose this perspective.
The perspective of talking and understanding others from where they are at mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, not just to appease them but to expand self.
When we lose sight of that fact that every person has a different foundation and thus different neurological patterns for how they process and act, we lose sight of the other person.
Not only do we lose sight of the other person but we close down our own growth process but we also step into a space of self-centered. Centered in our own thoughts, feelings, desires, and not willing to open that view to anyone else.
And it’s a common thing in most relationships!!

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In this life it all comes back to us!
 
We enter this world alone and with a unique path and purpose.
And while others often walk with us on the journey at the end of the day this life is ours alone. These other path walkers are part of our purpose and our guides if we choose to accept them.
 
Though this entire life comes back to the world first within each of us.
 
We can only love, and connect at the level to which we have loved, and connected with ourselves. We can only grow and expand by first touching base within and noticing the alignment required.
 
Each and every one of us can go out and live and love from our most authentic selves and we will still at times be misunderstood.

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Raya: “The world’s broken. You can’t trust anyone.” Sisu: “Maybe it’s broken because you don’t trust anyone.”
-Disney’s “Raya & The Last Dragon”

I sat watching this movie in the theatre with some of my favorite munchkins (aka kids).
I watched as the story evolved into a story about trust and conversely a lack of trust in this dystopian land. The way to saving their world came down to trusting those around them.

As the characters stated the above quote…
It really rang true to my heart…

For our society as a whole right now but even more so, for the the state of our personal relationships. Read more

“When we realize that we are all sinners needing forgiveness, it will be easy for us to forgive others.”- Mother Theresa, ‘No Greater Love’
 
The last few days I’ve spent time re-reading and meditating with one of my favorite books (“No Greater Love by Mother Theresa), to tap me into my heart and to Christ Consciousness.
 
The above quote, while simple, is so very true!
 
And more than ever I believe this sentiments on forgiveness to be important to our society.

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Love is Not Equal.
When you love someone it is unique. Unique to your energy, your personality, your lifestyle and that other person.
Yet, so many wish and desire and even tear relationships apart because the love isn’t equal.
How would one even measure such a thing? How to you measure the energy of love?
In roses? In calls/texts made? In time spent? In services provided?
Lately the topic of inequality of love has come up again and again with my clients, family, and friends.
I had a client other day, and then shortly after a friend ask me the same thing…
“Why am I the one that always has to reach out?”

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Others will never see!
The other day I found myself sharing about my childhood home and the tiny little community I grew up in. At one point I even pulled up pictures and maps to explain what I was talking about. This other person of course heard me but the picture in his head was NOT the picture I saw in my own head.
Later that same day I found myself with tears streaming down my face as I was attempting to share a sensitive memory with a friend. A person that knows me better than anyone else in my life. Yet, the words that I was trying to share were not getting through the knot that I felt in my chest and the memory that was right behind my eyes. I stumbled over words and tried to dance around painting a picture but knowing that whatever picture I painted would NEVER truly explain the immensity of the memory.
And as I sat later listening to someone else share on a here and now type situation that was swirling and consuming their lives…

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Whoops, I forgot.
“I forgot to wear underwear for my session”
“I forgot to pay my bill”
“I forgot that we had something planned”
“I forgot to do my homework”
I forgot, I forgot, I forgot.
Something that has always been used as an excuse in people’s lives but has had an upswing over the last few months with everything going on in our society and world.
Some would say that maybe our minds are just so busy with other things and the chaos….
But I dare to share that…
I believe this is simply a lack of many wanting to take responsibility for their own manipulation and massive moments of ego.

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Have you ever had a conversation… A conversation that you are dreading or maybe one that just pops up but that you can feel the weightyness. The importance of the conversation but at the same time the ego fear of being “too seen” or not being “seen enough”.

Those  conversations that make your heart race, palms sweaty, or your heart cry out. The messages you avoid hearing or that you avoid sharing out of fear. Fear of self. Fear of your heart being broken or in turn breaking another. Fear of doing more harm than good. And definitely fearful of your own fluid flowing emotions.

And thus many run from the depths of these conversations. Putting blockades up against fully diving into these moments.

But after some hard conversations in my own life I can tell you…

The hard conversations can often be the most loving!

Our difficult conversations are the ones that we must share a piece of self and our vulnerability. We strip ourselves bare and lay it out with all the pieces of us. The shadow and the light.

Usually they require extra breathing, extra tapping into the body, and extra heart. Read more

If you loved them… you’d let them go.
You’d want them to shine their light.
You’d look at the beauty and step out of ego.
If you loved them you wouldn’t try to hurt them
You would not want to see them in pain and suffering
You would not want to create chaos in their world.
Though the majority of relationships that preach… LOVE
Are simply faking it.
It’s not love but conditional need fulfillment.
If your partner is filling your needs then you are in “love” but the second that things go south in a relationship and it is no longer aligned…
Well then you call people names, mess with their stuff, try to ruin their other relationships, etc.
You allow your ego to take the reins and the entire time with a vengeful attitude.
Which is never and will never be love.
It’s easy to watch this is relationships all around us…
When divorce cases drag the others reputation through the mud
When in a break-up one partner stalks another
When lines are drawn in the sand with friends and family
Or simply the process of berating the other party to those around us.
Does this really come from a place of love?

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You’re never going to get that person back and you’re grasping and grabbing is pointless.
So let it go!

This graby, low-vibing, wishing energy is only holding you back from what you could have in this world and all the joys that are yours for the taking. These moments of nostalgia and wishing is only keeping you from the now.

What am I referring to?

The desire to hold someone frozen in a place and time.
This is our desire to get someone we are in relationship with to be that “old person”
Or in desiring for ourselves to be the person we once were.

We can never go back.
Thats not a life direction… EVER!
We are always moving forward.

Now we can move forwards into lower vibration and a sense of stuckness or we can move forward into a new level of ourselves. Read more