I’m getting my hair done and it feels great. I love the feel of the brush being dragged through my hair and the small tug. I love the sensation having my hair brushed and played with brings throughout my body. I love the focused attention that I am receiving and getting to just let go for a few minutes while I revel in the beauty of the touch and feeling of being pampered.
It’s one thing to pamper self. I’m a huge advocate and always tell clients to engage in self care. BUT there is something magical about another person pampering you. There is just a feeling of surrender and relaxing that happens when you allow someone else to step up and help you enjoy the moment. There is a receptivity that is impossible when pampering self and a level of a gifting. Read more →
It’s early evening when I receive the text, and I am relaxing outside and trying to get some work done. I see the name, and I am immediately intrigued because it is rare these days that I see this name on my phone screen. He wants to come over for a little while, and I know that he has plans beyond just chatting. I sit, staring at my phone for a few minutes, pondering my options. On the one hand, I know that I really need and desire some focused attention. On the other hand, I have some major emotional blocks with him right now and am still holding a traumatic event in my body. I have the choice to lean into the vulnerable here or to shut down and completely shut him out. I finally decide to step into vulnerability and see if I can allow my own opening with his help.Read more →
🍲🥑🥦I pop something in the microwave to stay warm as I am cooking. I begin thinking back over my day. 🍲🥑🥦
I think about how it has truly been a microwave type of day!
Everyone wanting results NOW but not willing to put in the work.
I can vividly see the face of one consult as I told him that three minutes of penetration with his woman isn’t going to cut it for her orgasm and that actually he needs to be spending 20-40 mins on her prior to any penetration!
I would never suggest anyone to ever watch or read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. There are a million things wrong with these stories from a sexual education and from a healthy relationship perspective that makes me want to cringe. That being said, there is a reason that this storyline has captivated millions. Out of all the erotic stories that are published each year, this particular story was able to break through the sexual stigma of our society to open up many women to different types of play and their own arousal. Why? What happens in these books that some women have found engrossing? Ask a woman that knows these stories and each will answer differently, but a common theme includes the male character, Christian Grey. Read more →
Let me tell you a story about me, Addison Bell, when I was about 20 years old. It’s not a pretty story. Actually, it’s quite the opposite, and so I desire to give a warning that this is not going to be beautiful and sexy. It is also a part of the story I don’t usually tell both because it saddens me to think of and also because the person I speak of is no longer the person I see in the mirror. Read more →
I sit in my meditation area and begin to ponder where I was this time last year. I am quickly reminded of how a year can change so much! As I sit, I flip through my intentions that I had written this time last December and read through my desires, and I see desires focused in several areas: Business, Friendships, Intimate Relationships, Travel, and Adventure. Though as I read the list of adventures, it is apparently clear that I had my mind set on some sex-specific adventures and play for 2017. I read through, and not one of the said sexual adventures has actually been removed from the list. I breathe in a moment of sadness as it passes through my body because this year has turned out very different than expected, but I quickly then breathe in a taste of joy and love that I was blessed to experience, which was very unexpected. Read more →
“My body is tense and tight as are my emotions and heart. I feel little love, appreciation or compassion let alone toleration. Or perhaps that is all I feel. I am tolerating life. I am tolerating work. I am tolerating my family. There is no feeling of interconnectedness, no desire washing through me. I feel lost, alone, depressed without reason, fatigued and sore. I feel loveless and angry. I feel an ever growing panic inside of my soul. As if my life is being stolen and for what?Read more →
I lay there on the table in front of the crowd, and I can hear the small whispers as I settle into my positioning. I feel the whispered breeze the air conditioner is creating above me that sends a shiver down my spine and listen to the pitter patter my heart is giving off. I take a deep inhale as I prepare my mind and body to enter the realm of orgasm. I have a hard time quieting my mind at this moment because for the last few weeks, I’ve had a significant amount of stress that has been greatly impacting my orgasm, and all these eyes are watching me are wanting to see orgasmic energy. There is an expectant energy oozing from the crowd of smiling faces.Read more →
From the time I was 10 years-old until I was in my twenties, I fought a bloody battle with my own body, which manifested as anorexia and bulimia. I spent 15 years in what can only be described as a hell of my own body but more than anything, a place where I was a prisoner of my own mind. I was blessed, however, to get help and eventually fully recover. I learned to come to a place of peace with my body and formed an essence of neutrality. I no longer put effort into trying to lose weight because I knew this was a slippery slop to relapse. Through the years of recovery it became apparent that I needed to work on my past sexual trauma that was keeping me stuck in not only a war against my body but in many areas of my life, especially my sexuality. I would later learn that most individuals with eating disorders also have some difficulties with their sexuality in some form or fashion. I went to therapy religiously and pushed myself to open up internal boxes that I had bolted shut. The deeper I dug the more disgusted I found for my sexuality and the more my body shut down physically.
Scenario 1: We have just come out from an extraordinary concert that has my heart dancing from the beautiful music. As we walk down the sidewalk, he grasps my shoulders and pushes me to the right, and I get jokingly scolded as he explains that he needs to be between me and traffic. In this moment, he wants to be my protector.
Scenario 2: I patiently sit and wait for him to come around to my side of the car and open the door. I have to take a second to breathe past my conditioning of doing things for myself and just allow. He opens the door, I place my hand in his, and he gives me a gentle kiss before guiding me to our destination as I thank him for his thoughtfulness.
Scenario 3: We are lying on the couch and just chatting as he shows me some interesting pictures and videos on social media. The conversation turns slightly sexy, and there is definitely a sexual tension in the room, but I feel frozen and am not making any moves. Then he suddenly stands up, grasps my hand, says he wants me, and pulls me up the stairs to his bedroom where we have an evening of play.