😫I need it. I can’t move forward without it. I’m stuck! 😫
These are the things that I state as I tear through the boxes in my home looking for a little pink book. This particular book holds business focused journaling, plans, and writings that were in the works of being created. But in the chaos of moving I can’t seem to find it.
I look high, I look low, I even look in the kids toy bins but this little pink book can’t be found. I seriously spend about an hour tearing through stuff. Read more
💙Where do you go?
💙Where do you go when your heart is screaming to be heard?
💙When all you want to do is be felt at a deeper level.
💙When you are scared and uncertain?
💙Where do you go when the emotions rise in your chest like a great wave?
💙Where do you go when you can see your dreams and yet they are still so far away?
💙Where do you go when your just need to feel loved?
On my morning walk there is a very busy road that I have to cross in order to get to my peaceful path. It’s always CRAZY BUSY!! Well this morning as I got to the cross walk there was not a car in sight. 🤔
It’s about to be school time ❓
People have to go to work? Where the Heck is everyone❓
The voice that came into my mind in this moment stating, “The path is clear”.
I saw there were no cars but yet I halted. Looking both ways and was just “making sure”.
🚙I mean because a car could just manifest out of nowhere…
🚜A big truck could come plowing down the road and I would be splatted across the road…
🦅I could get grab up by an eagle flying by…
🐿I could get attacked by a squirrel…
Are you going to dive in and answer the call of your spirit, your sex, your dreams, and your desires?
A true Spirit Warrior would!
If you are a Spirit Warrior…click the banner to work with me!
🌛🌟I sit here on this beautiful May evening staring at the stars on my balcony. I try to quiet my mind and just be with the moment. Really tune in and tap in.
🏖I feel suddenly transported to 18 months ago where I had one of the best moments of my life. Sitting under a sea full of stars with my soul sister as we listened to the waves crash onto the beach. I remember feeling spirit swirling within me just like it does in a smaller way right now. I felt my soul. But I also felt like I was in tune with the greater soul of the entire Universe for even a micro-second. Read more
When I get there, my life will be perfect. When I get there, I will be happy. When I get there, I will be able to focus on my family/friends. When I get there, I will be able to do the things I’ve always wanted to do. There, There, There… but never Here.
I’ve said it, and I bet you have said it too. The comments about how things will be different when you have reached a goal. The problem being that, for most of us, this goal is a constant moving target or it never creates the total life change that we expect. We keep on a lifelong search for our happiness, joy, time, and perfect life that never comes. We put our joy off until the ‘perfect’ man/woman comes into our life, until we get that new promotion, until we have enough money in the bank, until we are fully enlightened, until… we die. Read more
From the time I was 10 years-old until I was in my twenties, I fought a bloody battle with my own body, which manifested as anorexia and bulimia. I spent 15 years in what can only be described as a hell of my own body but more than anything, a place where I was a prisoner of my own mind. I was blessed, however, to get help and eventually fully recover. I learned to come to a place of peace with my body and formed an essence of neutrality. I no longer put effort into trying to lose weight because I knew this was a slippery slop to relapse. Through the years of recovery it became apparent that I needed to work on my past sexual trauma that was keeping me stuck in not only a war against my body but in many areas of my life, especially my sexuality. I would later learn that most individuals with eating disorders also have some difficulties with their sexuality in some form or fashion. I went to therapy religiously and pushed myself to open up internal boxes that I had bolted shut. The deeper I dug the more disgusted I found for my sexuality and the more my body shut down physically.
I sit there talking to this man and I find a little corner of my heart making space for love towards this man. We chat about a recent date of his, and I laugh with him about his slyness with coming up with amazing adventures. I love hearing about one of his lovers, specifically because it fills me with joy to know that he is happy and to see the beautiful relationship he has built. I am new and so stand in awe of the magnificent love. However, in his haste to get things out of his mouth and find clarity within himself, he stumbles over his words and unbeknownst to him, they come out all wrong. I suddenly try to eradicate that little piece of my heart that was just implanted with love… but it won’t budge. My heart clenches, my chest aches, and my eyes struggle to hold back the tears in the dark. I lose touch with everything being said and have a vivid image of my heart bleeding all over this beautiful bedroom. He chatters on about general life without realizing I deeply need triage.
The phone falls from my hand after I read the text that rips my heart apart and brings my Ego to the forefront. A lover just dropped a major bomb in my life and I feel frozen. Then I crumble like a million pieces of sand on the floor of my living room as a stream of tears floods my face. I feel both “too much” and “not enough” in this moment and simply want to die… THANK YOU!