Hands shaking and sweaty
Stomach caught between butterflies and doing a gymnastics routine
I was really going to do this!
Why am I doing this?
I had a room full of people staring at me and I had some choices.
I stand here today with a pretty important decision to make in my life. The universe has given me clear signs that I am at a crossroads, and straddling the fence is no longer an option. Although we never know for certain where any path will lead us, one of the paths I am currently facing is more known. I’ve journeyed on the path in the past, and in all honestly, this path makes people around me more comfortable and, if I’m honest with myself, more comfortable for me since I don’t have to face the discomfort of others’ judgments. But it is missing the passion I desire, and there will be pieces of me that I would have to compromise, contain, and shove into little boxes with pretty bows.
The other path is unknown because I’m creating it as I go, and that’s scary! There are more roots to trip on and branches to get hung up on. This path will require me to let go of safety nets, sit with others’ judgments of me, and continue to do deep personal work. This path is exciting and feels more freeing and in alignment with my spirit. In theory, I am always in favor of the things that set your soul on fire, but that’s a much easier decision when you are not standing right in the fire with the choice to jump out or sit in the flames and hope they don’t swallow you whole.