I feel like Orgasm Goldilocks!

I lay there as this first gentleman begins to stroke my body
I give soft but meaningful direction
I need the strokes soft and long and then a little shorter and quicker.
I share my own sensation but he isn’t listening to direction and so when I say left he makes no move to change things up. I say right and he continues to do exactly what he was doing.
I agree for him to enter me but the lack of direction has now got me into my own brain and nothing seems to be working. I logically know he is there but yet my body barricades against this touch because he isn’t listening and my body can’t relax knowing I can’t trust. I can’t surrender to the orgasm. He isn’t “bad” but I’m left unfed by the encounter.

How Body-Image Is Ruining Your Sex

It’s a Friday morning and I stumble down the stairs of my home for some coffee, meditation, and then exercise to start the day. As I wait by the coffee pot for that delicious liquid of the G*ds to fill my cup my spirit tells me I should look at my emails. I open them up to see one of the first messages in my inbox is from a client I had done a True Tantra session with the previous day. I immediately know from my gut before even reading that this client is struggling because the session had been emotionally intense. As Read more

How To Have Deeper More Connected Sex With A New Partner

See it published on YourTango.com

Want to get that new partner screaming our name in bed? Here are the steps to help!

Let’s be honest, new partner sex can be awkward at times as both people learn the others likes and dislikes. Sex often can make or break a relationship and so with a new partner it can be stressful and a major time of focus and decision-making. If a partner isn’t able to satisfy us in bed then they may soon become an ex-partner.  Read more

As of late, I have been under a bit of scrutiny from several people about my sex coaching business, everywhere from friends to family to other colleagues who all have misconstrued beliefs about what sex coaches do. Honestly, I am not shocked because the truth is that sex coaching is fairly new in mainstream consciousness. If you met ten sex coaches, they would also all have a slightly different way of coaching and different elements that are included in this coaching. Even in my local area, I can think of several sex coaches, and every single one of us approaches coaching in a different manner. Some use more direct talking methods, some incorporate more spiritual practices, some use more straight education, and others are more experiential. This is on top of the fact that sex is still a taboo topic in our society, so it’s no wonder that I get both horrified and intrigued looks when I share with others the career I am so passionate about.
There’s a vast variety of questions and assumptions that people have when hearing that myself and my fellow colleagues are sex coaches. That being said, the one that comes up the most is, “Are you a prostitute? So you have sex with your clients?” Read more

I’m a Sex Coach, Not a Sex Worker

As of late, I have been under a bit of scrutiny from several people about my sex coaching business, everywhere from friends to family to other colleagues who all have misconstrued beliefs about what sex coaches do. Honestly, I am not shocked because the truth is that sex coaching is fairly new in mainstream consciousness. If you met ten sex coaches, they would also all have a slightly different way of coaching and different elements that are included in this coaching. Even in my local area, I can think of several sex coaches, and every single one of us approaches coaching in a different manner. Some use more direct talking methods, some incorporate more spiritual practices, some use more straight education, and others are more experiential. This is on top of the fact that sex is still a taboo topic in our society, so it’s no wonder that I get both horrified and intrigued looks when I share with others the career I am so passionate about.

There’s a vast variety of questions and assumptions that people have when hearing that myself and my fellow colleagues are sex coaches. That being said, the one that comes up the most is, “Are you a prostitute? So you have sex with your clients?” Read more

How I Lost 25lbs and Gained Sexual Empowerment Through Tantra

From the time I was 10 years-old until I was in my twenties, I fought a bloody battle with my own body, which manifested as anorexia and bulimia. I spent 15 years in what can only be described as a hell of my own body but more than anything, a place where I was a prisoner of my own mind. I was blessed, however, to get help and eventually fully recover. I learned to come to a place of peace with my body and formed an essence of neutrality. I no longer put effort into trying to lose weight because I knew this was a slippery slop to relapse. Through the years of recovery it became apparent that I needed to work on my past sexual trauma that was keeping me stuck in not only a war against my body but in many areas of my life, especially my sexuality. I would later learn that most individuals with eating disorders also have some difficulties with their sexuality in some form or fashion. I went to therapy religiously and pushed myself to open up internal boxes that I had bolted shut. The deeper I dug the more disgusted I found for my sexuality and the more my body shut down physically.

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Letting Men Lead

Scenario 1: We have just come out from an extraordinary concert that has my heart dancing from the beautiful music. As we walk down the sidewalk, he grasps my shoulders and pushes me to the right, and I get jokingly scolded as he explains that he needs to be between me and traffic. In this moment, he wants to be my protector.

 Scenario 2: I patiently sit and wait for him to come around to my side of the car and open the door. I have to take a second to breathe past my conditioning of doing things for myself and just allow. He opens the door, I place my hand in his, and he gives me a gentle kiss before guiding me to our destination as I thank him for his thoughtfulness.

 Scenario 3: We are lying on the couch and just chatting as he shows me some interesting pictures and videos on social media. The conversation turns slightly sexy, and there is definitely a sexual tension in the room, but I feel frozen and am not making any moves. Then he suddenly stands up, grasps my hand, says he wants me, and pulls me up the stairs to his bedroom where we have an evening of play.

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Sexual Drought!

I lay there and have a strong desire to be held in that moment. To be held and kissed, and penetrated on a multitude of levels. It’s funny because a piece of me WANTS sex in that moment and then another piece is stuck in a sense of ambivalence about the whole thing. As I ponder, I think about how things have changed so quickly for me in the sex department. Guy A just wasn’t a fit even though he was really nice, but I’m not one to string people along if the chemistry is not there. Guy B and I aren’t really speaking at the moment and we both need a breather. Guy C is simply going to be labeled an asshole in my book from here on out. And my negative mood and complete absence of sexual desire for a week or so sent Guy D packing for the hills. So I think, “Well, this royally sucks. I am officially in drought territory!”

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