Thank you for f*cking me up!

Thank you for f*cking me up. For breaking open a whirlwind of emotions and energy in my body.

I’m amidst a session and I have tears flooding down my face as the energies clear through my eyes. The build up of energies choke me as they build in my throat chakra. I kick, punch, and shake demons, decades old, from my being.

 

I feel stirred at my core and the practitioner guiding the session shares that she is sorry (but not sorry) for “f*cking me up”.

I later sit in front of a beautiful blazing fire as unattached tears continue to stream down my face. My body is still shaking in moments as it releases unearthed energies. I knew leaving the session that this would be one of those sessions that would shake me to my core. Deepen me, cleanse me, but tear me open in the process. I felt f*cked up.

And f*cked up I am!!!
Even as I write this there is a lack of settling in my being but also a clearing that has taken place.

I think to my own energy work in my business. Clients will often come to me and share the same words… “You f*cked me up”.

Translation…

I’ve been opened to look at my sh*t.
I’ve been opened to feeling these feelings.
I’ve been opened to step into different energies.

I’ve been given the safe space to do the healing work that isn’t always easy, but is required for expansion.

And so as I sit with my own stirrings, and as I let the energies move through, I actually find myself in gratitude. Gratitude for the f*ck up!!

It’s not a “you” that f*cked me up…
It’s a safety to allow self and with that other person to allow energies to release. Without these elements things would move but not in a massively shifting way.

 

It’s a beautiful process but we often look at it with negativity which blocks the backend of the process.

When we look at the energies as something to be avoided we are re-anchoring these pieces back into our very being. We miss out on the growth and also allowing another to see us. We never fully clear. We never see and experience all the juicy aspects of self.

We try to numb it. We try to control it. We try to not to feel it and get our sh*t together!
Because this state of stirring is out of our homeostasis. It’s out of how we’ve been taught to react.

Though, this isn’t even just about healing sessions!

It’s also for those moments where someone shares a constructive noticing. Where we get a harsh reality shared.
Those moments of tough love but LOVE nonetheless. A moment that might seem harsh and like a knife energetically right to the heart.

Where it doesn’t feel all warm and cozy but is coming from a heart-centered space.

This is where we should have the biggest amount of gratitude in my opinion!!!

It is a rare and special person that desires to see us grow and expand at a level where they are willing to stand in our pain. Especially pain that they played an energetic role in stirring with words or actions.

It takes true care and holding space for someone to stand steady as you move through your process.

To watch someone relive trauma…
To stand by and watch the triggering…
To watch the tears fall…
To make someone angry… potentially at you…

It’s about loving another human being whether client, friend, lover, or family member enough to hold space for them to be a more complete person.

 

We must release and work through our shadows and held energies in order to be our best selves. Oftentimes this healing happens again and again.

One of the biggest areas of our bodies that hold this “f*ck up” energy is our genitals. It is a magnet for traumas of every shape and size that we experience as humans. When the sexual energy is truly awakened it often can remove blocks in other areas of our bodies as it travels up the spine.

Going straight to our holding. Breaking open our hearts. And not always in a lovey dovey kind of way. Sometimes in grief and pain.

Sex is a PRIME and BEAUTIFUL space for you to completely f*ck your partner up. To f*ck them open. A space where energy can be released in a loving way.

Though I hear again and again about men and women retracting from the sex if these deeper energies come up. I’ve actually seen it happen in my own personal life and in a workshop I model for, on female orgasm, twice a year. The moment tears, shaking, or anger comes up the giver is OUT~!

What a missed opportunity to hold space and show you aren’t going anywhere. That you can love the other person even in a messy space.

What a gift…yes a true gift… to F*CK SOMEONE UP!

 

Also, what a space to allow yourself to get into and what a gift to self to allow yourself surrender.

It’s a complete state of vulnerability.
Allowing self to do what is societally unacceptable…
Allowing yourself to scream.
Allowing yourself to cry
Allowing yourself to shake

So today I ask you, my followers, to see where you are running away from depth in the name of love with someone. Where are you trying to take away great opportunities for growth of the one you claim to love?

Standing strong
Standing present and connected
Holding loving space.

And I say thank you to the fellow practitioner that f*cked me up the other day. Thank you for holding space in a state of love to watch as I processed through some heavy old shit.

Thank you for the f*ck up!

Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison

Wanting to start your year on a positive foot?
Embracing your beautiful energy and connecting with others?
Desiring to learn a truly connecting life?

Reach out for 1:1 coaching, online course, and training at
https://addisonbell.net/contact/