I want to be the person you see me to be.
You see me as someone that is so incredibly strong and resilient
What I see is all the times I want to melt into a puddle of tears
You see me as someone that has this beautiful light shining from the core of her very soul
What I see is those moments where bitterness, anger, and resentments try to grasp at my heart and mind
You see someone that is “zen” and logical and firmly grounded
What I see is those moments where my head is doing all the talking and I’m finding myself straying from practicing what I preach
You see all my “potential” and the places where if I just would step in that would take me to the next level of my purpose
What I see is all the failure, bruises, uncertainty and that nagging doubt in the back of my head that tells me I won’t make it.
And in truth…
We are both right. I am both…
Strong & Weak
Light & Ego
Zen & Mindless
Expansive & Restricted
It’s all where you focus!
Most of the time I see myself as a …
redheaded love sharing ego fighting bad*ass ninga 
I know I have a deeper purpose and passion
I know I have the resiliency to keep going and dreaming
I know I have a message and gift to share with this world that only I can provide.
When I stop and tune in and get really aligned with myself I see this and know it.
And yet there are still times when I fall into doubt and fear. There are times when I put on my ego-tinted glasses and struggle to see all of me.
In truth, none of us ever see ALL of us!!
It is not possible
But I desire to be the woman you see when you look into my eyes. I desire for you to help me claim that woman.
I desire even more to be the woman that I see deep within when I look into my soul!
I think often we get comfortable brushing others opinions and thoughts about us 100% away.
And others opinions of us are made up of their experiences and views on the world. Others opinions are often many times made up of who someone WANTS us to be and so filled with expectations and them attempting to mold us out of who we are!
However, sometimes others perceptions of us can help us see a deeper part of self and a piece we have not entirely claimed.
I distinctly remember years ago when I was a teenager and going through a very dark time… my therapist looked at me and told me that I was “different” than the other patients in the group.
“You have a fire inside of you and a will to live through this. You have a power that no one else here has”
I remember hearing this and struggling to believe it but she asked me to simply believe and respect that this was HER reality of me.
And so I did. And she was right!
She was 100% right because eventually, I realized her reality was a part of my soul that I wasn’t seeing. I took her reality and ran with it.
And it is the thing that saved my life at one point.
I don’t want to become anyone but ME
And you should not work to become anyone but YOU
Though occasionally stepping outside of self to see how others perceive us can be a beautiful and expansive experience.
It can teach us how we are presenting to our world
We see where we are not in alignment
We see where we are not stepping fully in
We see where we are not embodying ourselves
We see where we are adding more to the world than we acknowledge
We see a deeper level of our own souls!
So thank you…
To my past therapist
To my lovers
To my best friends
To my mentors
And most of all…
To GOD
For reminding me and…
For showing me the deeper levels of myself
For showing me who I was meant to be in this world
For showing me my soul!
And so if someone in your life is trying to share with you something they see they is beautiful in you then…
At least believe that this is THEIR REALITY of you!
Feel it…
Take it in if it feels aligned…
And ALWAYS!!!
Take in God’s messages of your beauty.
Sending you all…
Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison
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