You want truth…
You want honesty…
You want integrity…

But are you sure that is truly what you want and is something that you are ready and aligned to receive?

Yet, you look at your relationships and wonder why they aren’t growing and expanding.

Why do you feel you are being lied to or pieces of the truth get omitted… and later you find out and are broken-hearted.

You are hurt and don’t understand…
You stated you wanted truth and yet the other person restricted or simply stopped sharing.
Depth was lost
Or maybe straight lies were told.

And while the other party has to hold the fact that they lied, omitted, or skewed truth.

YOU… yes YOU…

Need to own your part.
You asked to be lied too.
You couldn’t handle truth and didn’t want to hear
Changing the subject or brushing serious conversations off because you weren’t able to hold the immensity of your own feelings.

You are asking for half-truth and lies!

I know this might sound counterintuitive but its a common thing that many people do in relationships.

Speaking the desire for truth and integrity no matter what but not truly desiring it at your core. Not wanting to feel the discomfort and thus avoiding and shutting down the communication lines.

It’s tricky and often so subtle when you begin to send messages to your partner about not truly wanting the truth.

* It’s when your partner is trying to have an open conversation and you change the subject again and again.
* It’s when you throw out accusations without cause and show your inability to look past your insecurities
* It’s when you aren’t able to hold your emotions and spiral at the smallest of incidences or provocations
* It’s when you tell your partner what they aren’t doing and how it will result in massive consequences and zero conversation.

When you take ANY conversations off the table that needs to be had then you are asking for lies, deceit, or even just a partial sharing from your partner.

Trust is a massive key in relationships but you must prove to those you are in relationship with that you can be trusted to hold their truth for better or worse. That you can be mature enough emotionally to process through and have heart to heart conversations.

If you have not proven your ability to hold their truth then why would they trust you?
If you continue to brush off their attempts to share then why would they continue to open up their hearts?
If you throw out ultimatums and fear tactics then why would they feel safe?

And the fact is…

It’s okay if you aren’t in a place to hear truth.
You are where you are…
But the fault for truth not always being shared then falls just as much in your lap.

Instead of looking to where another person shifted from their full honesty…
Maybe ask yourself if you’ve been a safe person to receive truth.
Are you fully open to honesty or is this an aspirational value that you simply aren’t aligned to in your life?

Usually falsehoods happen because of both sides of the relationship.

Above all the blaming and shaming that we like to do in our relationships, relationships and the things that happen in those relationships are present because of BOTH parties.

Relationships are not a one way street and both create teh circumstances that result.

So ask yourself today if you truly are able to hold the truth.
Because the answer for most is NO.

Own it and then work to grow into a space of holding space for others honesty and integrity.

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