I am out with some friends and we are having a great day!

It has been a day full of laughter, love, and connection.

I am in charge of the music on the drive home and begin playing my favorites

All of a sudden one jumps and yells to turn off the band I am playing

She shares that she can’t listen to the band because it brings back memories

Memories that are good but are still drilling holes in her chest with emotional torture

She is in a state of trauma from the song, the flashbacks, the emotion.

We unintentionally crash!


I change music and we continue on with our conversation.

Tired from the day and so relaxing into the music and the lyrics.

All of a sudden from the back seat I hear, “OMG, I get it please turn it off”

These words are mumbled by tears

Apparently THIS artist brings back memories for the other friend.

We unintentionally crash!


Days earlier I am feeling sad, hurt, and needy.

I try to process through my stuff but I decide to try to not repress and talk things out in this relationship to keep resentments from growing.

I am angry, I am sad, I am fearful of sharing but I do…

My shit, stirs the other persons shit, and we stand there a heavy mix of emotion, and life feeling life is pressing down on us both.

I yell, they yell.

They yell, I cry.

I cry, they apologize.

I apologize for being crazy

There is no fixing this.

There is so much more here than what is going on in this relationship

We both are heavily attached to our ego baggage in this moment


We unintentionally crash!


This is relationship. We are always coming at things from…

Our past

Our hurts

Our hang-ups

Our love language

Our desires



We unintentionally crash!


If we are communicating

If we are doing our internal work

If we are coming from our core of love


We still will unintentionally crash


We will see each other at a deeper level and find a more compassionate understanding

We will crash and then with healthy relationships we will move into flow, reorganization, and love.


We will crash deeper into self and deeper into love


Or if we are not doing our work, and not coming from a place to true love we will instead crash into a deeper sense of damage.


How are you unintentionally crashing with those in your life?

If you think you’re not… then you need to gain more presence because we are constantly in a state of rubbing into our own and other people’s “stuff”.


Want to improve your relationship?

Want to learn to crash more gracefully?


Reach out to me at www.addisonbell.net/contact