👉You SHOULD be having ‘duty sex’.
✨Years ago I can distinctly remember having an intense moment of sex that I felt was more an “obligation” on my part.
I didn’t want the sex
I didn’t want the connection
I was pissed off and in pain physically
BUT, I was trying to keep a relationship
😟I remember being in pain the entire time and ended up retracting from my body. I spent the entire experience in my head, with moments where I would notice the discomfort.
😡And in that moment he knew I wasn’t into it…
But I also consented to be used as his moment of ‘feel good’.
After this moment the resentments grew and the relationship broke down overnight. I was done!
And it took quite awhile for me to release this moment from my system.
🖐THIS… is not the type of duty sex that I ever suggest!
Sex FOR someone else
Sex coming from an obligation to religious ideals
Sex in order to save a relationship
Is NEVER a good idea!
Whether you consciously recognize it or not…
Will always do more harm than any potential good.
So, why would an advocate for healthy sexuality and relationships, encourage you to have a type of duty sex?
Because we are talking about a specific kind of what could be called duty sex.
🙏The kind that is for your healing.
When we get to a certain point of shut down, trauma, and resistance due to shame in our bodies…
Our sex, connection, and even physical bodies will start to shut down.
As women we can start to see negative mood changes, irritability, vaginal pain, and numbness.
💜The ‘duty sex’ that I am proposing is that uncomfortable sex you don’t want to have because it brings up your shiz. 💜
💚Its the kind that you feel a duty to SELF to have in order to heal. 💚
💙This is a conscious, slow moving, feeling into your body type of sexing. It can be by yourself or with a patient and loving partner. 💙
👉 Its when you slowly breathe into the emotions coming up in your body.
👉 It’s when you lean into the discomfort in order to release the trauma and stored emotions
👉 Its when you go slow and allow yourself to reconnect with your partner from a heart space.
But it has nothing to do with anybody else…
The duty is to yourself and your healing.
The intent is not to do more damage and step into a greater level of shut-down but instead to release the shut-down. 🙏
And sometimes pushing through these emotional and physically uncomfortable moments is a requirement of our healing.
Duty sex because you feel like you have a duty to lean into your own healing and releasing of old can be a beautiful healing moment. It actually moves you CLOSER to healthy sex.
Traditional duty or obligatory sex is not healthy and will always move you further from sex.
🔥Duty-to-self sex allows you to move closer to your fully vibrant and orgasmic self!
With or without a partner.
💜Know the difference…
💜Practice the difference.
Grab the Fire Within 🔥
Love, 💋
Addison
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