I lay there as this first gentleman begins to stroke my body
I give soft but meaningful direction
I need the strokes soft and long and then a little shorter and quicker.
I share my own sensation but he isn’t listening to direction and so when I say left he makes no move to change things up. I say right and he continues to do exactly what he was doing.
I agree for him to enter me but the lack of direction has now got me into my own brain and nothing seems to be working. I logically know he is there but yet my body barricades against this touch because he isn’t listening and my body can’t relax knowing I can’t trust. I can’t surrender to the orgasm. He isn’t “bad” but I’m left unfed by the encounter.
It’s early evening when I receive the text, and I am relaxing outside and trying to get some work done. I see the name, and I am immediately intrigued because it is rare these days that I see this name on my phone screen. He wants to come over for a little while, and I know that he has plans beyond just chatting. I sit, staring at my phone for a few minutes, pondering my options. On the one hand, I know that I really need and desire some focused attention. On the other hand, I have some major emotional blocks with him right now and am still holding a traumatic event in my body. I have the choice to lean into the vulnerable here or to shut down and completely shut him out. I finally decide to step into vulnerability and see if I can allow my own opening with his help.Read more →
I lay there on the table in front of the crowd, and I can hear the small whispers as I settle into my positioning. I feel the whispered breeze the air conditioner is creating above me that sends a shiver down my spine and listen to the pitter patter my heart is giving off. I take a deep inhale as I prepare my mind and body to enter the realm of orgasm. I have a hard time quieting my mind at this moment because for the last few weeks, I’ve had a significant amount of stress that has been greatly impacting my orgasm, and all these eyes are watching me are wanting to see orgasmic energy. There is an expectant energy oozing from the crowd of smiling faces.Read more →