“Please don’t hurt me!”
 
This is the thought that runs through my heart as I lay snuggled up in arms. Head on a naked chest and my heart feeling like it’s going to crack right open but there is still constriction held in my heart chakra.
 
Im in a dance of surrendering and then pulling back. Melting and then stiffening.

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Balancing Gratitude & Pain

I am sitting in my car in rush hour traffic when I feel it happen. I am listening to music and a song that always touches my heart comes on over the speakers, and I just feel tears start rolling down my cheeks. I am thankful that I’m in traffic and not really moving because the tears come faster and overtake my vision. The tears are a release of sadness, anger, hope, and disappointment; they are also releasing of energy that was never mine to begin with, energy that I picked up throughout the day. I let the tears roll down my face, leaving glistening wet stripes covering my cheeks and a puddle of collected tears on my shirt. I don’t try to brush them away. All of a sudden a feeling of frustration with myself overcomes me because although I am experiencing all these emotions, I am also feeling very grateful for my life. I have had some amazing sessions this week, had some heartfelt moments, great sex, and a list of about a million other little blessings that transpired over the week.

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