Motherf*cker I want my heart back!
It happened slowly…
Ever so slowly…
One knife, one word, one moment at a time
It closed off and blocked up.
The childlike wonder…
The unconditional joy…
The magical feelings…
The true innocence…
trauma
This is the article I have been feeling reluctant to write. This is the article that I have sat on for years because it just feels too open and honest. Yet this is the article my soul needs me to write, and my spirit says that it’s time. My Facebook feed has been filled with a trend happening of announcing you’ve been impacted by sexual abuse or assault by writing “Me Too.” So here goes, in my opinion, hate my opinion, but it’s what it is: Read more
I’m in the middle of receiving a personal tantric bodywork session… I laugh, I cry, I laugh and cry at the same time, and then, I suddenly go to a peaceful spiritual place where I see vivid white. Prior to leaving the session, I receive amazing grounding, but leave feeling like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, and I am surprised at my reaction. I am driving home and suddenly feel slightly drunk. I have not had one drop to drink, but I feel disoriented and am feeling sick to my stomach as I pull in my driveway. I was told to go home and eat grounding foods, but right now, I feel like vomiting all over this apartment, though eating and water are essential for me, right now, to get back to myself. I go to my bedroom and strip and put on the biggest t-shirt and leggings I can find and curl up on the couch for the rest of the evening (Yep, super sexy). I have very interesting dreams throughout the evening and wake up feeling like I was hit by a truck, both physically and emotionally. I start 5, 10, 50 emails to my mentor to process what is stirred up, but truly have no words to capture what feels like intense crazy. Instead, I ground, I breathe, and I do all the things my training has taught me in managing after an intense session. I have to paddle my way through these waves of emotions and know I will be better for it.
*Please note: Tantra does not equal sex and tantric bodywork does not equal sexual touching!*
When I get asked what I do for a living and say that I am a Tantric Practitioner/Sex Coach, I typically get one of two reactions: 1) A look of complete horror as if I’ve just killed a small child, or 2) A look of curiosity, and the person will begin asking me questions in a very hushed voice. Many times after a few questions I will hear something along the lines of, “Oh, I have a great sex life. I don’t need that.” They are usually shocked to hear that there are enough people out there who need bodywork to sustain not only my business but also the businesses of many of my friends and colleagues just in the area where I live. They are then surprised to hear that actually EVERYONE needs Tantric Bodywork.