When we have kids or are around kids, it’s pretty common sense that if they ask a question or aren’t understanding a perspective, that we will talk at “their level”.
As a coach, I do this daily with clients because while pushing my clients to grow, I also recognize that they are all at different stage in their lives. More than that though, I realize that their experiences and foundations are different.
Though in my daily life with lovers, family, and friends. Sometimes I make efforts too come at those I love with the same understanding and at other times…
Well let’s just say that I lose this perspective.
The perspective of talking and understanding others from where they are at mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, not just to appease them but to expand self.
When we lose sight of that fact that every person has a different foundation and thus different neurological patterns for how they process and act, we lose sight of the other person.
Not only do we lose sight of the other person but we close down our own growth process but we also step into a space of self-centered. Centered in our own thoughts, feelings, desires, and not willing to open that view to anyone else.
And it’s a common thing in most relationships!!

Sure, we might think a little on the other person’s perspective but are we truly opening to understand this other adult before us that we at some level are desiring to connect with?
The fact is our adult relationships don’t need to be treated as if we are children and broken down to a level/inquiry of a 5 years old.
Instead it’s an acknowledgment that even when we think we know someone, there are always un-explored aspects. That there viewpoint is of all the moments they’ve lived up until this point.
Simple life changes can make a MASSIVE difference on the brain processing from one person to the next.
Has someone been more coupled or single in their lives
Does someone have past trauma and what kind? How did their particular system respond to this trauma.
Does someone have kids or not?
Different ways in raising…
Different ways of beliefs inserted into them as kids….
Now, we can not dig through each and every person’s history. Nor is that truly needed.
It’s simply having compassion for your fellow man and being open enough within self to try to see there could be different perspectives. And different levels of understanding and filtering.
This is when inquiry is paramount…
Just like we would do with a child to make sure they were understanding and processing the information….
It’s about being very intentional.
Not cutting someone down or forcing your thoughts on them but instead opening up to the fact that we, and they, are all a product of the past.
Intentional inquiry and discussion…
Opening up your perspective…
And getting curious…
Can truly expand not just your relationships but also
YOU and your understanding of yourself and the world.
Opening your mind opens up a world to you!
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