💜I want to make it better
💜I want to fix it all
💜I want this to never have happened and protect, protect, protect
💜I want to make it better
💜I want to make it better
💜I want to fix it all
💜I want this to never have happened and protect, protect, protect
💙Where do you go?
💙Where do you go when your heart is screaming to be heard?
💙When all you want to do is be felt at a deeper level.
💙When you are scared and uncertain?
💙Where do you go when the emotions rise in your chest like a great wave?
💙Where do you go when you can see your dreams and yet they are still so far away?
💙Where do you go when your just need to feel loved?
📢Are you REALLY THERE??? 📢
I still sit here in gratitude today for yesterday. 😇
Yesterday I met my friend to have a yummy lunch, to connect, to celebrate ourselves, our friendship, and to plan coaching world domination… hehe! 💥📢😈🌍
But as we sat there and connected I had this immense gratitude for my friend. A gratitude that brought tears to my eyes then and has me writing this and still tearing up.☺
Yep, I’m a bit of an emotional person!
Although, I was in gratitude not just for the time she was gifting me…because time is our most precious asset. But really her sharing, her excitement, her energy and most of all her presence. Her being really with me in the moment as we talked. Her being with herself as we talked. And today was no different than most of the times when we are spending time stirring up mayhem!🤣😎😜
It really got me thinking about the lack of presence I see in our world today but particularly our lack of presence with each other. Instead of being in the moment. Hearing what the other person has to say and hearing beyond the actual words…. really listening deeper into the message the other person is trying to get across. Words are cheap but the energy and feeling behind them tells us so much.
In our hustle and bustle society we don’t often take the time to really be present enough with the other person… not checking our cellphones… not thinking about our response… not thinking about how we need to go get our kids… but really WITH the other person. We miss out on connecting, supporting, and celebrating with the other person.🙏🎊🎉🎈
We also miss out on being present with ourselves. Present enough in ourselves to notice the different feelings and sensations coming up in our own bodies…. The excitement, the joy, the jealousy, the sadness, and the fear. All of these being key pieces to learn more about ourselves in relationship.
It is a rare person that can truly hold presence with another person. You know it when someone is truly WITH you. You feel it. You know it at a core level even if they are looking at you, nodding their heads, etc. There is simply an energy!
I know for myself there are times when I am super present in conversation, holding space like a Bad-ass, and yet still connected to myself. Then there are those times when I am having to push against my monkey-mind and ego driven thoughts. These are moments of learning and leaning in a little bit more. When I recognize the disconnection I strive to step into being present a bit more and through whatever is blocking.
My question for you today is how are you showing up in ALL your relationships?
💓With kids, lovers, friends, colleagues, clients, etc?
💓Where are you struggling to be present?
💓Are you listening to their words or are you feeling into their hearts?
No matter the answer…LEAN IN MORE
Bliss REQUIRES Presence!
🎉🎉Get more present TODAY by Coaching with me! I bring in a toolbox full of meditations, breathing, connection exercises, and more to get you more fully present with yourself and the world. Step into your life NOW. 🎉🎉
Check out my FB Business Page @AddisonBellCoach
🌛🌟I sit here on this beautiful May evening staring at the stars on my balcony. I try to quiet my mind and just be with the moment. Really tune in and tap in.
🏖I feel suddenly transported to 18 months ago where I had one of the best moments of my life. Sitting under a sea full of stars with my soul sister as we listened to the waves crash onto the beach. I remember feeling spirit swirling within me just like it does in a smaller way right now. I felt my soul. But I also felt like I was in tune with the greater soul of the entire Universe for even a micro-second. Read more
😍😍I love you but do YOU, love YOU? 😍😍
I was working on some journal work about what I love about myself. Years ago my journal would have been blank… totally and utterly blank.
Actually, I can remember many, many years ago being in treatment for a severe eating disorder, lying on the ground and hysterical crying over this exact question. I couldn’t find anything lovable within. Having to answer the question simply reminded my adolescent, starved mind of how horrible and underserving I was. Believing there was nothing worth saving. 😥 Read more
To the constant female warrior:
You are always the strong one. The one that holds it together for everyone else. The one that is dying inside, but puts on a smile for those around you. You are the one that can have tears streaming down your face in the car because your heart has been broken and yet you are able to pull it together to walk into a room like a Goddess. Everyone is always complimenting you, but the truth is they don’t truly see you, they don’t see your heart and your true soul, and so it means nothing. They simply see your allure, but so you walk around feeling unseen and unknown. Read more
“Why can’t I orgasm? Why can’t I have beautiful, soul-expanding orgasms? What am I doing wrong? Maybe I’m just broken!”
I sit there in my office chair listening, and I sigh in sadness. I remember being right here, in this place years ago, like the gorgeous woman sitting across from me. I remember thinking that I was broken and incapable of having sexual pleasure. I remember beating myself up for not being able to reach that elusive amazing O! What I remember more than that is the bitter taste of hatred in every word that I spoke about myself out loud or in my head. Little did I know that right there was the key that opens up the world of orgasm, pleasure, love, and beauty to us all; and despite explaining this to not only this particular woman but many clients. They will struggle to see it and will continue to strive to see it until they take steps to truly begin to love themselves, accept both the dark and the light, and work through the faulty belief systems that impact their lives. Read more
It’s a Friday morning and I stumble down the stairs of my home for some coffee, meditation, and then exercise to start the day. As I wait by the coffee pot for that delicious liquid of the G*ds to fill my cup my spirit tells me I should look at my emails. I open them up to see one of the first messages in my inbox is from a client I had done a True Tantra session with the previous day. I immediately know from my gut before even reading that this client is struggling because the session had been emotionally intense. As Read more
Why don’t they see how I need to be loved? Why do they continue to do this when they see how much it hurts me and how unlovable it makes me feel? What is wrong with me that no one can love me the way I need to be loved?
These are the ego thoughts that fill my brain as I drive down the road after arguing with a loved one and have tears streaming down my face. I am both angry and sad, and at this moment not connecting with my higher self in any form or fashion. By the time I get home, I have a face streaked in mascara, puffy eyes, my heart chakra is aching, but I am trying to move out of the little vibration that I have found myself in after the argument. I breathe and think a bit on “love” and what I am truly looking for out of not only this loved one, but also everyone in my life.
What I know to be true is there are so many types of “love” in our world, and truth be told, we are all broken in this area. It starts the moment that you cry as a baby and wonder why you’re not being picked up and soothed. It bridges all the way to when we are adults, lying on the floor crying, and wondering why our partner isn’t picking us up to hold us and soothe us; wondering what is wrong with them or us. No one makes it to adulthood without building up wounds based on love!
Although so many of these wounds are around the same general area of “love,” they present very differently. I almost dare to say that no emotional wound isn’t in some way attached to love. For one person, this may mean they always find themselves feeling abandoned just when they need the people that claim to love them to be present. For another, it may be not being able to be touched because their mother never held them, and so it brings up feeling unlovable. And yet for another, it may be that boyfriend that would yell and hit them and then hours later claim to love them and so they learned that love=pain. We even have love wounds around the friendships that were broken and bullying that may have taken place at some point proving the person wasn’t “lovable.”
And the wounding around love goes on and on…
How many of us have had thoughts about how we feel unlovable or how we are loveable but only to a certain point because, then, we are too much to be handled… “too much,” “not enough,” etc. We think people can only handle pieces of us because if they saw the entirety, then we assume they would hate what they saw. We tell ourselves that there is something inherently wrong with us OR we continue to blame everyone around us for not being good enough to love us.
The truth is that the problem lies somewhere amidst all of that Ego talk.
Along with this, we learn to give love in a specific way. We attach love only to sex, only to affirmations, gifts, etc. The problem being that so has our partner/friends/families and so put all that mess and complicated wiring together, and no one is ever going to be able to love us just the “right” way in all situations.
One person could be giving all their energy towards loving someone, but if it’s not how that other person is able to receive love, then it will not bridge the “love chasm.” If we are lucky, then we will have people that can help open us to moments where we are filled and feel in complete and utter acceptance. A lover or friend that listens to us and understands our love language and how to get this love across to us the majority of the time, but they too will sometimes miss the boat!
Men and women as a whole (yes, stereotyping here) are wired to give and receive love in very different ways. The masculine tends to be more physical, and this physical connection leads to a greater ability to open to love. If I’m honest, many of the men I work with are disconnected from their heart chakras and so don’t realize how blocked they are from their feelings of love until it totally busts open and then is confused towards these intense feelings they find themselves playing in. However, in order for them to feel that deep love, they need the physical to bust it open, and they attempt to give love in the same fashion. Women tend to be more wired to receiving love in a more emotions/affirmations manner and so need to have their heart chakras opened first and then are able to feel the love with receptivity that is more physical. This causes difficulties when a man is trying to express his love physically but the woman is not translating this as love, and so is left feeling unloved… and vice versa.
On top of that, different people are able to give us different types of love, and no one person will be able to fill all these areas. For example, if I am talking with a friend, they are able to provide me with a soul-sister type of feminine love that my male lovers are not able to provide for me. If I am in need of love that is more passionate and intense, then my friends are not going to fill that need, but a lover is exactly what I need.
Another thing is that we block love from people based upon our wounding. Depending on where that wounding lies depends on how we receive or repel love. Love is a deeply vulnerable thing because when we allow someone into our deepest layers of our being, then we open ourselves up to pain. There is simply no getting around it. Love = Vulnerability. While our vulnerability is a necessary and beautiful process, it is also the reason we have been burned in the past in love. It requires work to heal these areas and lean into this vulnerability and the wounding.
So when dealing with others, we are always dealing with not only what they can provide based on their wounding, but also what we can provide and receive based upon our own wounding. The key is understanding that we are all coming from a place of wounding. Some of these wounds are easily remedied and worked through while others may be harder since they have become the very groundwork in which we have built our perceptions of the world and ourselves. Though if we know this, then we begin to approach each other and ourselves in a very different manner, a softer manner, and from more of a perception of growth versus defect.
We as humans ARE love at our core, and so when we take the time to focus in on this unadulterated spirit, we get closer to a true acceptance and giving of love. The truth is, no one is going to be able to love us just “right” in all situations, but we can work to accept the love that is truly all around us from family, friends, and the Universe. Also, to remember that if we don’t love ourselves, then we create a barrier against others loving us.
No one will love us right… but we can be loved magnificently if we open and allow!
It’s been a very long week of expansion and contraction, and honestly, my emotions are all over the place as well as my energy. One moment, I feel like crying, and the next, I am in a pure state of divine bliss! I have had several personal growth sessions and am working on integrating them all. A few days ago, I had a rebirthing session (see Birthing A Soul: A Session of Transformation), and today, I am to have a different rebirthing process, not only to integrate the previous few days, but also to incorporate the human need for connection. Read more