I have just finished having some beautiful orgasm and can feel my body radiating with energy. It’s a divine sensation, but as I am in my car, driving, there is a deep craving that rumbles deep within all this amazing energy. A desire for even MORE! I want to go right back, lay down and receive one, two, three, heck ten hours of not only orgasm, but also love and attention. I want an even deeper orgasm. At this moment, I want to see how far I can take this orgasmic energy and have it release even more stuckness in my body, and get me closer to the divine light of the Universe. I want to sit in the loving energy that I just left, and I want MORE! And I want it NOW! I don’t want to wait a few weeks, or a few days, or even a few hours. I want the connection and orgasm that can only be achieved when you are sharing energy with another person. My body, my mind, and my soul are craving for MORE! And if I’m honest at this moment, I am judging myself because I don’t want to seem ungrateful because I have such immense gratitude for the divine energy and the beautiful orgasm. I feel selfish because I want more “all about me” time, and so would be asking people to take time out of their lives to focus all the energy on ME. No, at this moment, I don’t want to reciprocate or worry about the other person. I want more, and I want it to be all about me. I just want more until I feel totally filled and am tapping out from being overflowing with pleasure. Then, and only then, do I want to bring it out into the world and help others get their MORE.
It’s so often that, based on our programs of what is selfish, what is too much, and what gratitude entails, we will stop our pleasure or cut off our desire before we feel truly filled. And even if we aren’t the ones cutting ourselves off, then there is always someone to tell us that the pure desire for more is selfish or ungrateful. This is an unhealthy notion that many people believe regarding our basic human tendencies to always want more in life.
Gratitude is important and vital if we are to see the beauty and peace in our lives. I stand behind a constant process of being in gratitude for whatever is showing up in our lives. This includes the dark and the light in our lives. Stopping and having full-hearted gratitude (not the fake, socially-pressured gratitude) is imperative to both having presence at the moment and appreciating not only the big aspects, but also the ‘small’ aspects of our lives. When we send gratitude and light into the Universe, then we begin to manifest more light. Though that does not mean you can’t be in gratitude and still have desires for what you want in the future… whether that desire is for the next 5 minutes, 5 months, or 5 years.
As humans, we are wired to always be reaching, desiring, and working towards our next goal. I believe that G*d designed us to always be exploring a deeper level of our own humanity and to use the world we live in to do just that! When we stop reaching, stop dreaming, and stop desiring is when we stop growing, expanding, and when we overall lose our passion for life. There is always something more we can be learning, a new area to grow in, and a new level of spiritual depth we can enter. The challenge is to learn how to find this harmony of being present and grateful while also continuing to strive.
Even for those of us that are able to be okay with our desires for more, it can often be taken as selfishness by those around us. We are told from the time that we are little, that to really allow yourself to receive and to continue to desire for more is selfish. This is why so many people rush through their sex and have trouble with getting too much attention during these intimate moments. It is often that people come into my office and state that they will only allow their partners to spend 5 minutes or less focused on their bodies and will struggle to ask for an additional time even if they need/desire this attention. We all need time during sex, where we can lay back, release control, and allow 20, 30, 60 minutes focused on receiving oral sex, touch, and being loved on. It’s not selfish, and we are not bad people when we desire MORE in our sex, and to have those feelings where we don’t want a moment to end or when we want the focus to be on us.
When we ask others for more and our desires, we are actually providing them a unique opportunity to feel the beauty of giving. Especially in sex, a beautiful energy is created when we are able to simply give to a partner and see all their divine beauty. However, there is just as a divine of beauty and learning in dropping into your own body, desire, and passion in your own life and allowing yourself to receive.
There is no shame in a desire. There is no shame in asking for a desire or expressing a need. As long as we are not forcing anyone to do anything and allowing the other person to have their yes or no, then we are doing no harm in owning our desire. Yes, there are times when it’s important to consider others’ feelings; for example, when your girlfriend is hysterically crying because her grandmother just died, it is not probably a considerate time to ask for a blowjob based upon her mental state. Though we also need to be self-considerate in our own lives and make sure that we are filling ourselves up in order to help shine our light to the world and to others. This does not equal selfishness. Wanting MORE in our lives does not equal selfishness. In or out of the bedroom.
So, at the beginning of life example, I could both be in gratitude for the amazing orgasm, love, and attention that I had just received AND desire more. I could desire to be filled up and all the focus to be on me, and that would be okay. At the same time, it was okay that I was considerate that after a few hours of focused attention to not ask for more in that moment of that other person, but also to move through my own moment of shaming because MORE is OKAY. Wanting more means I’m continuing to grow and expand, which is in alignment with the person I desire to be. Wanting more means growth and beauty for you today.
So I ask… What do you Desire?
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