“When we realize that we are all sinners needing forgiveness, it will be easy for us to forgive others.”- Mother Theresa, ‘No Greater Love’
 
The last few days I’ve spent time re-reading and meditating with one of my favorite books (“No Greater Love by Mother Theresa), to tap me into my heart and to Christ Consciousness.
 
The above quote, while simple, is so very true!
 
And more than ever I believe this sentiments on forgiveness to be important to our society.

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Love is Not Equal.
When you love someone it is unique. Unique to your energy, your personality, your lifestyle and that other person.
Yet, so many wish and desire and even tear relationships apart because the love isn’t equal.
How would one even measure such a thing? How to you measure the energy of love?
In roses? In calls/texts made? In time spent? In services provided?
Lately the topic of inequality of love has come up again and again with my clients, family, and friends.
I had a client other day, and then shortly after a friend ask me the same thing…
“Why am I the one that always has to reach out?”

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Love in our lives isn’t…
a sometimes…
a when…
a condition.
Love is a consistent energy that must be vibrationally met and also connected with on consistent basis throughout our day.
Its an energy that we first must plug into within ourselves and within spirit. We must feel this immensity and allow it to fill our very beings and flow through us.
Flowing through us to those in our lives…
NO MATTER WHAT

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Others will never see!
The other day I found myself sharing about my childhood home and the tiny little community I grew up in. At one point I even pulled up pictures and maps to explain what I was talking about. This other person of course heard me but the picture in his head was NOT the picture I saw in my own head.
Later that same day I found myself with tears streaming down my face as I was attempting to share a sensitive memory with a friend. A person that knows me better than anyone else in my life. Yet, the words that I was trying to share were not getting through the knot that I felt in my chest and the memory that was right behind my eyes. I stumbled over words and tried to dance around painting a picture but knowing that whatever picture I painted would NEVER truly explain the immensity of the memory.
And as I sat later listening to someone else share on a here and now type situation that was swirling and consuming their lives…

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I won’t ask….
 
I won’t ask for you to hold space as I pour out my heart and get naked right before you.
 
You have no responsibility to my heart and nakedness
 
I won’t ask for you to look beyond my tears, my anger, and even my smile and see what is happening just below the surface.
 
You have no responsibility to see me
 
I won’t ask you for you to reach out just to connect, to invite me to do things, or want to build this thing we have and find new depths.
 
You have no responsibility to depth

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“Please don’t hurt me!”
 
This is the thought that runs through my heart as I lay snuggled up in arms. Head on a naked chest and my heart feeling like it’s going to crack right open but there is still constriction held in my heart chakra.
 
Im in a dance of surrendering and then pulling back. Melting and then stiffening.

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I hope one day you get all the love you desire.
That your walls and protections around your heart begin to shatter into a million little pieces
That you find yourself having to breathe into the new spaces that this love will bring you in your life.

And when that day comes, I hope you stand in it’s fire and all the feelings. I hope you choose to stay and that you don’t run away from the love you deserve. Read more

Don’t you ever get tired?
Tired of holding it all together.
Holding it together within yourself and then trying to hold everyone else’s shit together as well.
Trying, working, hustling, planning and overthinking.

Keeping your body and mind tense and always focused. Hustling for your worth out of pure irrational fear.

Fear that if you were to truly let go that you would lose all control over your life and that it would spiral out into mass chaos. That you wouldn’t survive and that you would lose all those around you. Read more

I apparently have commitment issues!

Recently I’ve been told by no less than three people close to me that I have commitment issues.

Which obviously led this Virgo to psychoanalyze self and the idea of “commitment issues”

And the answer is that YES to the average person I can see how this could be true.
And NO it’s not an issue… it’s me being authentic and in integrity.

So I share this for my peeps that might relate and might feel the same way. Those that have been told they have commitment issues. Or those that have felt like they’ve been forced to commit to ANYTHING in their life!

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