Hands shaking and sweaty
Stomach caught between butterflies and doing a gymnastics routine
I was really going to do this!
Why am I doing this?
I had a room full of people staring at me and I had some choices.
I could shrink and allow my co-lead to take full control… I mean she is a badass rockstar and makes a perfect Batman! This would be the most comfortable.
I could simply decide to allow everyone attending to remain in their comfort zones and firmly implanted in the logical. Keep it verbal processing and knowledge.
I mean it still would be incredibly powerful and eye-opening and the group doesn’t know the plans for all the activities!
Or…Or…Or…
I could put on my big girl panties
(cute sexy ones of course if I must wear them)
And choose to go full on into this work
And more than into the “work” but into parts of me that not a soul in this room has seen… even the person that knows me best at this point in my life.
It is my super OVER THE TOP dramatic self. The part that doesn’t want to talk about what needs to be changed but wants to DREAM it, SEE it, BECOME it.
The part that will be crazy and chaotic and yes even a little bossy for the purpose of healing and expansion.
Talking about things sometimes simply isn’t enough. We are often visual learners and our imaginations are incredibly powerful in assisting us to expand and also to move through our past.
I LOVED the content and techniques I was bringing to this group.
I KNOW the power that these techniques could have
But I was scared.
I had not pulled this crazy drama-based work into my coaching and it still remained firmly planted with my past therapist self.
Would this group be willing to step in too?
Would they think I was crazy as I let not just this work but truly a deeper part of self out?
Would they think me unprofessional as I jumped around, yelled, and literally crawled on the floor?
And would my co-lead be disappointed in what I was bringing to the table? Think me crazy?
I was really going to take the reins here or not take them.
There was no half-way!
There was only letting ALL the crazy out or staying small.
It was vulnerable.
But my soul was pushing me forwards.
As my stomach was flipping and screaming “DANGER”
The butterflies were screaming “This is exciting”
Which means that it was only how I was perceiving the sensations in my body.
Long story short….
I took the leap.
And I allowed everyone to see me in my vulnerability…
Which is allowing out my playful and not just playful but the ME that can closely resemble Tigger from Winnie the Pooh!
As I got into the flow of things and allowed it to just come to me… I realized that I needed this side.
I wasn’t consciously pushing this aspect of self down but really had just forgotten. As I stepped in I had a
re-remembering process take over.
And I had new aspects come out that had been fueled by the years of expansion I had done while not doing this type of group/workshop.
The workshop went well…
As anything that you introduce to a new group.
You see areas to tweak and areas to expand.
But overall it was a major success.
Myself and my co-teacher rocked it out!
But there was a fire within me that would not have been created if I hadn’t pushed past the ego.
I would never have found that new expansion of self
And if I get really honest with all of you reading this…
The next day my ego was telling me all the reasons I should not continue to lean in…
All the reasons why my upcoming plans wouldn’t work…
STEP ASIDE EGO…
Time to own the inner Tigger on Halloween dressed like Batman 
That was MY most recent journey into choosing to step into what was soul aligned for me…
But where are you stepping in?
Are you stepping in?
In truth we ALL have these areas.
We can always discover more and align deeper.
So many of us feel the fear and back away and it takes a truly conscious person to recognize where they are backing away. Where they aren’t fully shining. Where they are choosing to play it small.
Recognize and become conscious of these times, places, and areas of self. Then go on an adventure to push directly into THAT!!
Your body will let you know when something brings up energy
Your soul will let you know when it wants to keep walking
And then your ego will get loud…
But we aren’t listening to it.
I challenge you to take some time to get quite today and really tap into 2 ways you are still playing small and hiding your light.
Sometimes it can be in the smallest little habits and patterns but they present in a HUGE way in our lives.
Go truly LIVE Today my beautiful followers 
Sending you all…
Love, Light, & Blessings!
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www.addisonbell.net
