If you don’t have presence then you don’t have anything. Why would I make such a statement?
Well unless we are present in our lives then we aren’t going to experience them and so in truth we won’t ever fully have anything…. stuck half in our minds and half in our lives. Half in the past and half in the future.
What we lose is the NOW.
And we will never fill ourselves up this way!
It is so often that people will share with me how they are having “enough” sex, touch, connection, and self-care time but they still feel lacking. One of my first questions is if they are truly present in these moments and also if that other person is present in the moment as well.
Especially when we are talking about human connection. If one person is not present in the moment then despite what pretty words get said, or what physical actions are taken… it WILL fall flat.
In the end you, and or, that other person will be left still wanting more and feeling unfulfilled. The reason is because the energy wasn’t in the moment and so wasn’t ever truly fully shared.
These are the moments with my clients where they are sharing with me that their woman or man is too “needy”, which in truth might be the case. However, something I try to present is also if that person continues to ask for the same thing over and over again perhaps there is a lacking of presence somewhere because the true energetic sharing never actually happens!
Leaving a desire for more.
If you are snuggling with someone but up in your head… then the connection was never truly made.
If you are having sex but thinking about that porn you watched… then the sex isn’t going to be beneficial for either party.
If you are having long conversations but you are constantly checking your phone… then you are continually dropping that person on their ass!
Now, this same thing goes for areas of our lives that don’t include relationships. If we are doing self-care and not really tuning into self or our bodies then the self-care is not ever truly reviving us.
When we don’t take time to be present then we miss the moments of pleasure because we place an invisible barrier between us and the pleasure. We create our own pleasure walls!
And what are we all craving???
Pleasure in one way or another!Whether this be a feeling, sensation, connection, or experience. It all falls into a desire for pleasure.
So we sit there craving more and more and more… yet never truly feeling like it fills us. It is always interesting when individuals will talk to me about “sex addicts” or really any process addiction. Because in my experience often there is not an addiction per se…
(FYI, there is no such thing as “addiction” this is actually just a laments term we use in our current society)
Often the issue is a lack of presence and ability to truly enjoy a normal behavior that is meant to be pleasurable and fulfilling. The problem being that there is a disconnection and so the person continues to look for that pleasure hoping to fill themselves. When really a state of mindfulness and embodiment would tip the scales.
How many of you have gone on vacation and not truly enjoyed the vacation until it was over or almost over. I know I have! And it was always because I was in my head and not getting present and embodied in the moment.
I mean what a waste of life! Of pleasure! Or true bliss and beauty!!!!!
Though presence is a practice. It is something that is a flow and requires our awareness. We are constantly flowing in and out of presence and embodiment and so it is continuing to come back to self and other when we realize we have wandered.
With grace and compassion for self, since anything else will just lead us to a state of being back in our own heads 🙂
I know that I strive to be more present each and every day with myself and also with those I am blessed to connect with. It is something I continue to come back too and expand with.
So if you too are wanting more pleasure, bliss, & beauty in your life then it is truly yours for the taking….
Just get more present!
Sending you all Love, Light, & Blessings
~Addison~
www.addisonbell.net/contact
