I’m soaking in a warm hot tub with friends as the jets create an abundance of bubbles on the surface.
We sit looking up at the stars and enjoying the moments.
When a female friend that is sitting beside me takes notice of the glow of the lights on my pale white skin.
“Your skin and hair is so beautiful in the lights. May I play with it?”
I breathe in the compliment and give my consent.
She takes my braided hair and strokes it up against the sensitive skin of my arm. The sensation is divine in this relaxed space and I can feel the reaction of tingles all over my body and deep within my core.
She plays with my hair for a minute or two and then it’s over. We move on. It was a moment I got to be in my body and feel the beauty of sensation and it was a moment of appreciation of something she found beautiful.
Fast forward to another moment weeks later and a guy friend walks into my house and suddenly stops… “You are looking exceptionally beautiful Addison. You’re just really glowing today!”
I smile, feel his appreciation, and thank him.
Fast forward a few weeks past that and I’m having coffee with a friend and I notice that her boobs are looking especially awesome. So I share my noticing. We laugh and move to talking about body-image and our health.
All three of my examples could have led to moments of shut down, over questioning, and disconnection.
“Why does she want to touch me. I’m not into girls”
“Ugh, is he trying to get in my pants with that compliment. Better armour up!”
“OMG, I really shouldn’t tell her her boobs look amaze-balls, what if she takes it the wrong way”
Years ago the above would have been my reaction and currently is the reaction from similar events that I hear from clients.
Beauty, Sensuality, and Sex.
These three things get confused in our society and it has shut us down in not only our sexual energies (and I mean ENERGY) but also from sharing and appreciating others in our lives.
A noticing of another’s beauty equates to SEX
A moment of sensuality and body presence equates to SEX
A moment of feeling sexual energy stir equates to SEX
We have built these walls to feeling self and other, out of fear of wanting to protect and guard against our sex.
We are scared of our sex… scared of feeling all that it can provide us and so shut down our ability to feel. In this we shut down also the ability to connect with the beauty in our lives, both in others that are around us and in life in general.
Beauty stirs our hearts and our sexual energy.
Not necessarily our desire to have sex but that energy that is passionate and creative. That energy that allows us to desire more in our lives.
And thus we also disconnect with the sensual.
Sensuality is one more step towards the sexual in many people’s mind so we physically disconnect from our bodies instead of leaning into our bodies.
Enjoying a moment for a moment. Enjoying the sensation and pleasures in our bodies without it having to “mean” anything about us as people.
If I have a moment with the sun touching my skin and feeling all warm and glorious… it doesn’t mean that I want to have sex with the sun. It means that I am simply in tune with my sensation and that I am tapping into the feminine energies in my body.
But even with ourselves there is often a disconnect…
Many out there have shut down their sexual energy, sensuality, and appreciation of beauty due to religious doctrine, beliefs handed to us by the individuals that raised us, and even the media.
Our bodies should be our homes to revel in all the juicy feelings.
Whether these be sexually focused or not.
And why is it so wrong to have sexual arousal.
At the end of the day arousal is just arousal…
This does not mean one must take further action on a feeling of arousal.
When we are body present then beauty will touch our hearts, minds, and sexual centers. This is simply us feeling the energetic flow that is hard wired into us.
When we are one with the sensual this simply means that we again are feeling the flow and out of boxing ourselves up… allowing the energies to stir our power.
We were meant to feel and connect.
With ourselves and with another!
And one more story before I leave….
I was with myself the other night. My candles were lit. Some enjoyable music was playing and I had twinkle lights dancing around my room and on my naked skin. I had just finished a day that had my arousal flowing but needed to connect with self. I found myself touching my breasts, rubbing down my legs and up my torso, playing with my own energy at my heart center.
In truth I ended up writhing all over my soft bed with the sensual flow of my hands. Enjoying and feeling the beauty of the sensations and in appreciation of my own body.
Then I had a thought to get more sexual. Long story short and the energy wasn’t there… it was all sensual. I was aroused in my senses but it was from a heart space and although my sexual centers were hot and fiery in one way… it wasn’t about the sex with self. It was truly just about being in my flow and enjoying my body without having a sole focus on my genitals.
So i ask you today.
Where are you boxing yourself into the purely sexual and judging your own sensuality.
Where are you not allowing for the flow of your body and opening up to beauty around you?
Although beauty, sensuality, and sex can all come together…
Each are divine experiences!
Grab the Fire Within!
Addison Bell
Get on Addison’s Waiting List for Coaching today and flame the fires of your life, love, and relationships.
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