Your relationships, all of your relationships, need moderate effort most of the time.
Not 10% and not 100% effort.
I was standing in yoga when the instructor reminded us to engage in a pose with moderate effort.
If we threw 100% then we would not be able to sustain
If we threw out 10% then we would not be stretching and expanding.
And I thought how this relates to our relationships.
When we are in relationship we forget this concept of consistent moderate effort.
When we attempt to go 100% in our relationships at all times we end up fatigued or we end up smothering the other person. We go too hard and too fast. Instead of strengthening the relationship we create resentment and struggle.
When we don’t put in enough effort and focus on our relationships then we end up killing the relationship with lack of attention. We build resentment and people begin to wonder about the love. The effort is so sparse that a breakdown begins to happen with the love.
Oftentimes when we are slacking or going too hard in our intimate relationships, our friendships, our relationships with family/kids…
We end up swinging back and forth between putting too much effort in all the way over to putting too little effort in. This creates a lack of stability and safety in a relationship.
And the other person feels thrown around and always guessing at their connection.
The key is in the consistent moderate effort.
The putting in the time to ask how someone’s day is
The time to simply tell the other person that they matter
Not taking for granted all the little efforts each day
Putting the effort in to connect with the other person’s love language.
Moderate but consistent effort.
There are times when we will have to pump the effort up
And times when we need to focus less on a relationship
But the majority of the time we should be putting moderate effort into relationship.
But you also need to get real with self and ask if your moderate effort is not good enough. Are you being too lazy and slacking with the ego support of “doing enough”
Or are you doing too much and creating fatigue or a one-sided relationship? Putting out too much effort. Overboarding. And not just allowing the relationship to flow the way it needs to flow.
Whether it be…
Your new romance
Your 50 yr marriage
Your best friend
Moderate effort is required.
You have to let people know they are loved and connect
But you also have to give space for the relationship to truly grow and expand.
Consistent effort is key!
Love, Light & Blessings,
Wanting to start your year on a positive foot?
Embracing your beautiful energy and connecting with others?
Desiring to learn a true tantric life?
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