Ladies!!! Ladies! Let’s Chat…
Recently I’ve had a slew of truly beautiful men come into my office and share similar statements and experiences.
Experiences where women are not willing to take any time on their male partners.
Not kissing them.
Not touching them.
Not stroking them.
Zero Foreplay!!!
Zero Pre-Work Connection!!!
Women that are at the beginning of a relationship with these men. Women that are themselves always asking for focused attention and admittedly receiving it.
Yet, not willing to spend any time loving and seducing their man. Not enjoying the sexual and sensual process.
The reason that is given over and over…
Men are easy!!
Can a woman sometimes arouse a man easily… YEP!
Does time mean he doesn’t deserve to be held and touched with love and connection?? NO!!!
In the past I’ve heard many women complaining about men not wanting to warm them up and truly spend the time connecting at the level they need. Feeling like they are just thier for his pleasure.
Well, unfortunately I’m seeing a trend of the exact opposite now. Truly beautiful and worthy men. Men trying to connect at a deeper level with the divine woman before them.
And yet these men get pushes aside because of societal beliefs that they “only want one thing”!
The belief that they don’t desire a sacred level of sexing
And so often pushed aside for their woman’s vibrator!!!!
Pushed aside in order to connect with a plastic toy that will never allow full surrender… never share connective energy…
An energy of “I’ll just do it myself and I don’t want you!”
Sometimes these men are married and it is a long-term wife
Sometimes these are brand new relationships
But the common thread is this misguided belief that a man is fulfilled by just “getting off”
There ARE those men out there that are trying to just get their 10 seconds of pleasure but I can tell you from my experience of working with men every day…
Truly that are beautiful and soulful men!!!
Most men want MORE!
They want to FEEL their woman at a deeper level.
They want to know their woman is there with them in the experience of the sexing.
They want to feel loved and accepted for their bodies and particularly their genitals.
Women….
If a man went down on you but it felt duty based
If a man spat and washed his mouth out after going down on you
If a man didn’t want to really touch your body
If a man basically threw you down and expected you to be full aroused and in the mood.
YOU WOULD BE P*SSED!!!!
You also would feel used and probably a little hurt.
Yet often this is how we treat out men and their bodies during sex. Like they are an on/off light switch that has no depth.
If you want a GOOD MAN… A CONSCIOUS MAN… A LOVING MAN…
Then you have to be the type of woman that accepts your man and loves on your man as well.
I can get on a massive soapbox about how men don’t take enough time on a woman’s body and how men can step up their game.
But us ladies often need to do the same.
If I’m not willing to worship his body then why would I expect him to spend that time on mine?
Gourmet sex is never about the “get off” or the climax.
It’s about the full bodied experience and the connection.
It’s about the energy two people are sharing.
So when we limit out men’s sex to a quick get off or lack of connection… then we also limit ourselves and take away from our own experience of sex.
I get that many of us women may have sexual wounds, shame, or other holdbacks to our sexing. And I am a MASSIVE advocate of healing and busting through all that B.S that holds us back from standing in our sexual power as women.
But in truth men have their own issues around sex and they still do need focused attention in the bedroom. Not some crap societal belief system that they don’t desire or require any “work” or that they have no deeper spiritual needs in their sexing.
I challenge us ladies to really and truly look at how you are treating your man in the bedroom.
Are you ravishing his body?
Are you seducing him and enjoying him?
Or are you just trying to get him off?
If the later is the answer then that is a signal that their is some work to do… maybe in the relationship and maybe simply within self.
Sex should be entered with enthusiasm and excitement
Not from a place of duty.
From a place of wanting to explore, expand, and open to a greater level of self and with your partner.
Outside of that… and you’re missing out on the depth of your sexing!
Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison
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